Having a daily summit in your relationship Январь 27, 2010

By Herbert Mtowo

How To Have a Daily Peace Summit(In Relationships)

 In the political world it is common for leaders to come together for a special meeting known as a peace summit. The purpose is to try and stop all the fighting and learn to live together in peace and harmony. Whenever you have a group of people living together in the same house, the time will come sooner or later when you need to make peace. You cannot continue to live in a situation of conflict. This is something that you can develop also to use for the whole family. But let’s learn to use it firstly just for those in relationships married or dating and in courtship.

How to dealing with anger

Jesus gave clear instructions concerning anger, in the following verse: Ephesians 4:26 Be angry, but do not sin: do not let the sun set on your anger: In my writings and study on hurts, anger and bitterness, I have seen that there are two main kinds of anger mentioned in the New Testament. These are explosive anger and implosive anger. The kind of anger mentioned in this verse is the kind that is not explosive. You will all agree with me, that relationships bring out all the skeletons in the cupboard out. In relationships we all get angry at one time or the other. Anger is always with us as long as we relate to people. So what the Scripture is saying here is that you should learn to hold back your anger. But then you should learn to also let it go. This is so important, we all get angry one way or the other, but we should also be able to master our anger than having it master our emotions. Most Gender based violence cases areas a result of anger out of control, that’s why you find the world over people are going through anger management programmes. That is the way to go, people get treated from so many addictions, others go through sex addictions, and the whole purpose is to bring anger and these addictions under control. The first step is to admit that I have anger which is out of control, most people I talk to refuse that they have anger that needs to be dealt with. Now a person who explodes their anger usually let’s it go pretty easy, but they can often cause the other partner to respond with the other anger. So one has ‘let it off their chest’ while the other continues to brood and boil with anger.

Temperaments in marriage

 This kind of situation will always exist, because usually the temperaments in marriage will be such that one partner is more expressive than the other. So usually one of you will tend to be explosive, and the other will boil with anger. The key is to let all anger out before the day is over. That means no anger must exist by the time you go to bed that night. How do you do this? With correct communication! But how do you carry this out? One is ready to explode and tell the other what they think. The other is likely to avoid and keep it inside .Anger, bitterness and There is only one way to approach it, and that is what Jesus told us to do in the following passage: Matthew 7:3 And why do you look at the splinter that is in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the beam that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, Let me pull the splinter out of your eye; and, look, a beam [is] in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first remove the beam out of your own eye; and then you will see clearly to remove the splinter out of your brother’s eye. Usually when a husband and wife have a conflict, each blames the other for the problem. But as is indicated in dealing with anger, it is necessary for you both to turn your attention to the problem instead of accusing each other.

Conference/s daily:

 So you must come together at least once each day, to share the things that are bothering you, or have made you angry. Sometimes it might be anger against your partner. Sometimes it might be anger against someone else. The key here is to help each other. So you start off with the following words: “I have a problem.” In this way you ‘look at your own beam’ first. And since your partner is not under the same burden of care as you, he or she can help you to break free. If you are angry with each other, or worried about the finances, or there is something else that is bothering you. You MUST deal with this before you go to sleep at night. And especially important, you must deal with it BEFORE YOU CONSIDER MAKING LOVE. As you learn to communicate better with each other, you can diffuse these things before they cause barriers to come between you. If you fail to do this, then you may be guilty of one or more of the three factors we mentioned in my article- stealing, lying and bad language. Learn to have a peace summit each day, and put to rest all your cares and concerns. You will sleep better and wake up feeling good the next day. And, more important, you will find that your love experience will blossom and the love making will become more wonderful than ever before