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A Father’s Heart for the Hurting Май 19, 2009

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, eMagazines, Today's Devotional.
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A Father’s Heart for the Hurting
By James J. Holden

STORY-~3Have you ever gone through a day and become so exhausted that all you wanted to do was flop down on the sofa and zone out in front of the TV? I recently did. It had been a long, stressful day, and I just needed some time to relax and turn off my brain for the rest of the night. However, this was not going to happen. My mind began working overtime as I was drawn into the story line.

One of the characters, a young man in his early 20s, was just days away from the birth of his first child. As the show progressed, the young man revealed that when he was 10 years old, his father left him. Now, facing the birth of twin sons, he found himself terrified at the thought of being a father. He had nowhere to turn for advice and support, and he wanted to be a better father to his kids than his dad was to him.

As I watched, I felt like my heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. I knew the pain this young man felt. I, too, have had a father who has left me fearful and unprepared for life as a man. I remember the sense of fear and hopelessness as I licked my wounds from the last round of verbal and emotional beatings from my father. I recognized the feelings this young man felt, wondering if I was doomed to repeat the same mistakes of my father.

Like the young man, I had reached out many times to other men in hope of support, advice, encouragement and love. Like him, I had been denied help by men who just didn’t want to be bothered. A few men gave me some help along the way, but because of the distance between us, they couldn’t give me the help that I needed. My desire for a man to help me through these tough issues was for the most part ignored. I had no one to reach out to, no one to help me and tell me everything would be OK. Thankfully, God did provide me with a godly mother to help me through this time. However, there were some times that it would have been more comfortable talking about certain things with a man.

As the show reached its conclusion, I wanted to just sit there and cry for the young man. I know it was only a TV show, but I longed to reach out, take him in my arms, and comfort him. Then I wanted to help him work through the grief and pain he was facing and let him know he wasn’t doomed to repeat his dad’s failure. I never want another man to have to face the hurts and pain of both a father’s rejection and the rejection of other Christian men who turned away from me in my hour of need.

It was at this moment that I felt God speak to my heart. He said, «This is only a tenth of the hurt and pain I feel every moment as I look at the faces of my men who feel alone and abandoned by their fathers. I long to be their Father, and I long for my children to rise up and be a father to these men.»

That’s when it hit me. We, as men, need to do this job. We are children of a loving heavenly Father. We need to share this same love with the younger men who have never felt a father’s love.

The apostle Paul was such a man. On his first missionary journey, he met a young man named Timothy. Timothy was a man called by God and full of promise. While he was supported by a strong mother and grandmother, he needed the influence of a godly man in his life. Paul decided to be that man. He took Timothy under his wing. He fathered Him. He let Timothy see what it meant to be a godly man throughout his life and the lives of his companions like Luke and Barnabas. As a result, Timothy became a godly man in his own right, and in time became a strong leader in the early church.

What about you? Is there a young man you could be helping? Church youth groups are full of young men who are products of divorce or abandonment. Can you reach out to them and become a godly influence in their lives? Could you be the man they seek out when they have questions or fears about their future? Could you be a source of encouragement to them in their time of need?

Ask God to give you his heart for the hurting men around you. Ask Him to open doors for you to show His love to another young man. Ask Him to use you to show the love of God to another hurting man. When He places someone in your path, ask Him for the right words and actions to help that young man. Then be obedient to what the Holy Spirit leads you to do. You never know what changes you can make to a world full of hurting young men.

James J. Holden (jjosh@frontier.net), a graduate of Valley Forge Christian College, is a freelance writer with a heart for ministering to men. He writes a monthly article for the Assemblies of God National Men’s Ministry Web site. He recently founded Not Your Dad Ministries (notyourdadministries.com), which provides biblical teaching to help men overcome the pain of their past.



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2. Wayne - Сентябрь 22, 2009


Awesome post. I have a heart for broken men in my community and the larger global community. I am very much feeling the call to build a ministry that builds relationships men need to learn about being a father, son, brother and husband. I was moved by your openness and transparency regarding your relationship with your father, thank you. Keep up the good work my friend, you are making a difference.

In Christ,


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