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Marriage and Relationships,make the best out of what you have. 23 июля, 2009

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, Библейские уроки-Bible lessons, Трибуна братства - The brotherhood tribune, eMagazines, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ, Today's Devotional.
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Herbert Mtowo

What It Takes to Be One Love alone won’t see you through., in an age when we have plastic marriages, plastic relationships, one may ask what does it take to have one strong and lasting happy relationship or marriage. My heart bleeds with pain as I write this article I just had a call from Windhoek from a colleague telling me of someone I had counseled as a practicing counselor it pains to get the news. He beat his wife to death, a very young couple they were, the man in his mid twenties and the woman in her early twenties. As I write this to you friends you realize how heavy my heart is at the loss of life, as the precious woman is dead, brutally in the name of love. Her dreams, aspirations and pursuits are all cut short. That`s why I put together a collection of thoughts just to check on you, and encourage you to be realistic and face the challenges of relationships with hope. What follows below may inspire you, enjoy and give comments freely. The sight of a couple sharing a joke and walking hand in hand, their faces lined all over with wrinkles, and their hair gray, begs the question: How did they remain a happy couple for so many years? Given that about half of all first marriages for men and women under 45 end in divorce, it’s a legitimate question. Their revelations may surprise you. «It’s not about how much you love each other, or how much money you have, or even if your personalities match,» Far more significant than these factors — yes, even more important than heart-pounding lust, which, let’s face it, often fades over time — is communication.. How well you and your spouse communicate with another? The second most significant factor that happy couples share, is a strong friendship. While you can’t necessarily teach a couple how to be friends, you can teach good friends how to communicate better. Developing Healthy Habits Three important ingredients of happy couples: • Avoid blowouts. «The first is to learn to talk without fighting about inevitable conflicts,». Making a concerted effort to see the other person’s perspective, and avoiding the blame game of «she said» or «he did,» goes a long way. When things appear to be hedging toward a blowout. Do what parents often tell young children: Take a «time out.» It’s a tactic he calls «exiting out of destructive fighting.» • Recall the positive. As parents often ask a child stewing in the time-out corner what she could have done differently, Couples in conflict take time to consider what brought them together in the first place. Then make room for those factors in your life again. «You’ve got to protect and preserve those positive connections — the friendship, the fun,» • Look to the future. While turning the clock back can help couples rekindle lost connections, I urge couples to simultaneously look forward. «You’ve got to have pretty long term vision of the future, shared dreams, and plans that represent a commitment to one another and your family,» Addressing a Sexless Marriage That future, according to most marriage experts, should include a healthy sex life. While sex isn’t everything to happy couples, sexual problems can lead to marital discord. That men and women tend to have different ideas about sex doesn’t help matters. Addressing a Sexless Marriage «Generally speaking, women tend to see sexuality as part of a larger construct. Men are exactly the opposite. «Women have to be in the mood. Men have to be in the room.» Many times, misunderstandings over these differences lead to a break down in a health relationship sexually within a marriage, even among happy couples. The result, is a sexless marriage. I call sexless marriages an «epidemic. Many of the married clients haven’t had sex in 10 years. Adopt a business approach to improve sex. Seeing things from a business-like perspective helps couples reframe their sexual relationship. «I tell them, ‘If this were a business, would you let it flounder like this?'» Presenting sex in this light makes problems, and solutions, more concrete for couples. «By likening it [marriage] to a business mode — with shared goals and missions; responsibilities, assets, and liabilities; and frequent business meetings — things shift,» Make honest assertions. To salvage their sex lives, some couples need to dig deeper. «Often, sex wasn’t good in the first place. A big complaint for women is that foreplay is bad or nonexistent,» But this isn’t easy for anyone to admit. «I do a lot of pushing for the truth,» Some couples simply aren’t prepared to tell, or hear, the truth. «A lot of couples fall out of it. It pushes too many buttons,» Learning Financial Savvy The topic of family finances is another hot-button topic, even for happy couples. Delegate the task of budget balancer. Experts observe that most happy couples recognize that handling household finances should remain a singular task. «Only one person can work the checkbook. There can’t be two CFOs,» That doesn’t mean, however, that the other partner should be kept in the dark about finances. Sheridan espouses making joint financial decisions, with just one person implementing. Start an emergency fund. I also strongly urge couples to plan for financial emergencies. This helps diffuse any potential blowups, such as who will sacrifice personal spending money when urgent house repairs must be funded. Every couple faces adversity, from slumps in their sex lives to bickering over the checkbook balance. Most married people can learn to become happy couples. «If both partners are motivated, they can turn things around. Hi guys make the best of your time and enjoy your relationships, whether dating or married, make the best of them

Комментарии»

1. Herbert Mtowo - 27 июля, 2009

We have the honour to influence this Generation for the better,yes its possible.

2. Marriage and Relationships,make the best out of what you have … - Himanchals Org. - 27 июля, 2009

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3. Marriage and Relationships,make the best out of what you have … - Himanchals Org. - 27 июля, 2009

[…] have one strong and lasting happy relationship or marriage . … View original post here:  Marriage and Relationships,make the best out of what you have … :endorse-same-sex, federal-labor, issue, now-supports, one-may, party, plastic-relationships, […]

4. Alpheas Shindi - 27 июля, 2009

Its a work up call to this generation,I wish we would take time to learn and learn fast all we need to learn about marriage.

5. Anna Marime - 27 июля, 2009

Very intresting stuff this is.Read and enjoy.

6. Valuable Internet Information » Marriage and Relationships,make the best out of what you have. - 26 июля, 2009

[…] Excerpt from: Marriage and Relationships,make the best out of what you have. […]


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