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True Confession Март 9, 2010

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in Today's Devotional.

This is a true story but all the names have been changed.I am publishing this article with the permission of the people involved.Hope its a reminder to us to walk in the fear of the Lord and love our partners faithfully with all that we have.

March 2 at 10:41pm
I’d like to take this time to explain to everyone why I mess around with married men, why I am spreading HIV and herpes throughout my church and why my ex-boyfriend (who is also married) recently attempted suicide four times.
I met him last year in July when my great aunt passed away. He is her God-daughter’s son and is no relation to me. I will refer to him as Marvin.
When we met he was honest about his situation. He explained he was married, but separated, living with his mom, had recently been laid off of his job, and recently had his vehicle impounded. The biggest issue was that he was out on bail and was waiting for his case to go to trial. In February of that year he was charged with 1 count of corporal injury to spouse, a felony and 1 count of battery with serious bodily injury, also a felony. Although I did not know him at this time, once he explained to me everything that had taken place, I knew that he was innocent. His trial was expected to take place sometime in October.
After only knowing him for six days, we had sex for the first time and a month later we were in a committed relationship. At the end of August we went to my favorite place for my birthday, Disneyland and for my birthday he purchased me an all in one printer/scanner. I really wasn’t expecting him to be able to do anything for me, but he did. He really won me over by baking cookies and cakes and all of my 210 pounds could not resist. Especially when he started putting marijuana in the cookies.
In late September I received a call from him at 3am. To my surprise he had called to break up with me and before I knew what had taken place, he had hung up on me. I tried calling back, but he didn’t answer. His reason for breaking up with me was because he felt like he wasn’t enough for me. That next day, needless to say, I went over to his home after work and we got back together. I made him understand that it was my choice, Kimberly J. Ardison, and if I wanted to deal with the fact that he was temporarily going through a setback in his life, then it was solely my decision to take it or leave it. This was also around the same time that I got a parking ticket outside of my job. When I made the call to my parents to ask them for some financial help, I made the mistake and spoke to my father while Marvin was in my presence. I lied to my father about the amount of the ticket so I could pocket some more money. Marvin questioned afterward, and expressed that I was wrong and how disappointed he was. He even asked me if i would ever do that to him. Of course I lied and said no.
The next month and a half went okay. He would spend almost every night at my home and we grew very close. At the end of October his trial started. It was exciting, but more stressful than anything and I was glad to be able to be there for him. He was found not guilty on the 1st count, but the jury was hung on the 2nd count and the DA refiled immediately. This meant another trial would take place and this was when I started to have doubts on if I could stay in a relationship with him. This is also when I started having unprotected sex with other men. I was able to get away with it because I went home to Houston a few times and after Thanksgiving I started to pull away from Marvin. Instead of me telling him this and talking about my decision, I just did it. I went home again for Christmas to Houston, had unprotected sex again and did not communicate with Marvin while I was gone like I had the other times I had gone out of town in the past, this made him suspicious, but he never questioned me. I didn’t even call him on Christmas day to wish him a merry Christmas nor did I get him or anyone in his family a gift. I knew that this had hurt him, but I really didn’t care.
When I returned to LA that Sunday night on the 27th, I really didn’t want to see him, but he insisted on coming to my apt to give me the gifts he and his family had got me for Christmas. I also knew that it was wrong for me to act this way towards him when I knew he had missed me so I allowed him to come by. He wanted to spend the night with me that night, but I was afraid he would find out that I just had sex with someone else the night before in Houston, so I told him no.
That following Monday I had a date at Pacos Tacos with another guy and never told Marvin about it. In fact, when he called me after I got off of work and asked if I would come and relax with him by the fireplace, I lied and told him I had to run errands. I ended up going to his home after my date and gave him oral sex. I found out later that he found out about my date because I posted it on my Face book wall. So, here it is once again I hurt him, but he still wanted to be with me. Later that week it seemed my luck had taken a turn for the worst. I had just got a new Blackberry cell phone and lost it in Wallmart. Marvin offered to buy me a new one, but I didn’t allow him to.
That Thursday was New Year’s eve. Marvin had expressed that he wanted to be with me that night, but I had other plans with another guy. I lied to him again and told him that I wasn’t sure if I had to work or not, but I was already sure I didn’t. On New Year’s eve I couldn’t think of anything else so I told him that I wanted to go to Disneyland with my friends. He took it that he was invited also and was trying to make plans to go and to get us a hotel room. He asked me if I was using my season pass because he wanted to know how much money he would have to spend that night. I told him that I had everything taken care of and that it was my business. Once again, I knew this hurt him, but at this point I was involved with the new guy in LA and I really didn’t care. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show up at my house that night without calling. This infuriated me cause he was about to mess up my plans. Before I answered the door I called my friend who lived around the corner to come by with her daughter and to make it seem like we were on our way to Disneyland. I answered the door but I didn’t let him in. We spoke and I told him what was up and then my friend pulled up to give validity to my lie. He left, but I found out later that he came back at midnight and saw my car still there and I told him we took my car. I even made another mistake because at 2am I posted on my Face book wall that I was at Disneyland enjoying the firework show, but I made it visible to only him and his family.
That following Monday my car was broken in to. My purse was stolen with all of my personal information. I called Marvin to tell him what had happened and he was there to comfort me within minutes. He didn’t bring up anything about the recent past events. In fact, he offered to cancel his own plans that he had for the evening to spend the night with me and make me feel safe. I agreed and we made love that night… again unprotected. This was probably when I gave him both diseases.
To make this long story short, I ended up getting a restraining order on Marvin without even warning him and he lost his mind. Literally. On the weekend of February 20th he tried to commit suicide four times, but didn’t succeed. I wish he had.
I still continue to work for West Angeles as the Pledge Coordinator, but I am thinking about moving back home to Houston.



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