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Taking it to heights Октябрь 25, 2010

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in Family, family relationship, man&woman relationship, marriage, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ.
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Men really need to focus of pleasuring women otherwise it may later even lead to the divorce due to unsatisfactory sex life. Women are the most sensitive human beings. For women sex is not a mere physical activity, but they like to enjoy its sensitivity and emotional side along with the sexual pleasure. Men like to give pleasure to women but due to the inadequate knowledge about sex, he fails to do so and it results into the uninterested attitude of women towards sex. In the survey it was noted that more than 50% of the women are unsatisfied with their sex life and this really put a big question on the men’s functionality. Men on other hand are very much physical during the sex and this keeps women devoid of the pleasure that they want from men. So, you need to learn some techniques to pleasure women

1.Setting the mood Men are always ready for sex, but women needs to come into the mood before they go for the sexual ecstasy.
2.Foreplay is the most important women pleasure technique. It is only through the foreplay that you can get your ladylove ready for the sexual ecstasy. Women require a lot of foreplay to turn on
3.Go slow Women are very slow to come in mood as compared to men. Men require only 2 minutes to reach the orgasm, whereas women require at least 15 minutes to reach the orgasm.
4.Explore all body parts Remember that women require a whole body stimulation to get involved in the sex completely. Paying attention only towards the reproductive organ, turn off the women because they love that their partner pays attention towards there each and every part.
5.Clitoral stimulation. Women feel the intense sexual pleasure with the clitoral stimulation. Like the penis is men, clitoris is the most sensitive part of the women reproductive system.
6.Breast stimulation Breasts are the sensitive body parts and should be given a due attention if you want to give pleasure to your ladylove. Be soft on breasts, use your fingers to touch her nipples softly and then keep them revolving around them. This will really make her feel the immense pleasure of sex and she will get into the mood. You will be surprised to see her even reaching the orgasm only with breast stimulation.


Getting to grips understanding her sexually Октябрь 25, 2010

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in Family, family relationship, man&woman relationship, marriage, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ.
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Men are used to initiating everything — from the first contact to sex to proposing marriage. Guys are the ones who have to do all the hard work while women sit around and wait for wonderful things to happen.

It must be difficult being the one who always has to do the pursuing rather than being the one chased by an admirer. But what if the tables were turned? Do you think you’d be thrilled if your woman always did the chasing when it came to sex?

Now before you jump into an enthusiastic chant of “Hell yeahs,” keep in mind the famous maxim: “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” Would you know how to keep a sexually demanding woman happy?

Why is she aggressive?

The female orgasm is no longer a shot in the dark; now, most women expect to orgasm virtually every time they make love. And if you can’t get it right, they’ll teach you how to do it by taking over the situation.

And look around you: Virtually every television commercial, movie, music video, and billboard ad displays sexually aggressive, um, I mean, assertive women. Therefore, women are quickly picking up on the fact that being sexually aggressive does not necessarily make them tramps.

Unfortunately, many women will not let on about their sexual aggressiveness until later in the relationship for fear that their partner might think they’ve been around.

But if your woman was raised in an environment in which sexuality was not shunned or treated with disdain, she’ll likely be very comfortable with her own sexuality. This can result in a woman who may very well have you limping out of the bedroom once she’s through with you.

she wants it all

The wonderful thing about a sexually aggressive woman is that she’s completely in tune with what she enjoys when it comes to lovemaking. She has no qualms about letting her lover know what makes her tick.

As well, she’ll always be up for a sexual escapade with you, and she’ll likely be bold in and out of the bedroom. You can rest assured that she’s not shy or uncomfortable about discussing fantasies and naughty little ideas.

The best part of having an aggressive lover is that you won’t always have to be the one who initiates; she won’t hesitate to take off your clothes and sit on top of you.

This is the kind of woman who could make love to you with
slow-motioned sensuality or enjoy some sexual frolic made up of animalistic intuition.

And the fact that she goes in search of her own orgasms takes away some of the pressures that most guys feel when it comes to having sex. Now you don’t have to worry about making her climax because she’ll ensure that the both of you do.

The drawbacks
Although most guys swear that they would do virtually anything to land a woman who would tell it like it is and treat them like sexual prey on a nightly basis, reality dictates otherwise for some.

I talked to several guys who had the advantage of dating such women, and many discussed their fears. Jim revealed, “I became irrationally jealous. I always envisioned her treating other men this way and would become enraged, which ultimately led to petty fights.”

Harold admitted: “I was afraid that if there was one night that I simply was too tired or just not in the mood, she would lose all interest in me and go find herself a virtual racehorse that was young, dumb and full of [expletive deleted].”

As well, most guys I spoke to admitted that they sometimes stopped desiring sex as much simply because they knew it was so readily available to them. Because there was no challenge involved in getting the pie, they sort of lost their appetites.

But fear not: The good definitely outweighed the bad, and although there were some complaints, most guys wouldn’t trade in their mates for anything in this world. They simply learned a few tricks of the trade and made the best of their situation.

how can you keep up?

If you happen to be one of the lucky guys who has the pleasure of making love to a woman of this genre, here are a few ways to ensure that she’ll be satisfied for good.

Keep her coming

Stay mysterious and always ensure that she desires you. Just as men get turned on by the thrill of the chase, so do women. Don’t always give in, and when you do, bring her to immeasurable heights.

Order her around

Obviously, no one likes to have a drill sergeant barking orders at them in the sack, but talking to her while you’re making love — as well as telling her what you want her to do — will likely excite her more than usual.

Take control

Because she’s used to having complete control in bed, imagine how enlightening it would be if you took absolute power and had her at your sexual mercy (willingly, of course).

Initiate sex

Before she gets the chance to make any moves on you, start the foreplay by approaching her from behind and grabbing hold of her breasts while sucking on the back of her neck. Your spontaneity will turn her on immensely.

Well-kept secrets

Okay, so maybe you’re not surrounded by aggressive women who enjoy making love wherever and whenever. But keep in mind that sometimes it takes a little time for a woman to open up in that department, as most women are still afraid of being looked upon as trashy or promiscuous.

And if you want to make your woman more aggressive when it comes to lovemaking, talk to her about how she feels when you initiate sex. Explain that just like she enjoys being desired, you also need to feel those emotions every now and again.

Опасность пропаганды гомосексуализма в обществе. Октябрь 11, 2010

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, Библия говорит - Bible Speaks, Новости - News, Трибуна братства - The brotherhood tribune, Цитаты Великих - Great Quotes, eMagazines, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ.
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Эксклюзивное интервью с экспертом, юристом, адвокатом Алексом Спаком

Сегодня серьёзную опасность в нашем обществе представляет пропаганда гомосексуализма. Большинство жителей Латвии занимает однозначную и непоколебимую позицию отказа от этого аморального явления, которое стараются всяческими путями навязать нашему обществу.

Ежегодные пикеты, сбор подписей латвийского народа, поправка в законе о том, что семьёй является брак исключительно между мужчиной и женщиной, – всё это свидетельствует о принципиальной позиции населения нашей страны. Латвия – это христианская страна и основа её базируется на христианском мировоззрении, морали и  нравственных законах. Почему же, несмотря на решительный протест общества против однополой любви, так навязчиво и неотступно продолжается пропаганда гомосексуализма? И в чём опасность этого?

 Алекс Спак, аналитик правовой политики, адвокат Христианского юридического центра и правозащитной организации CCFON, любезно согласился поделиться своими соображениями на этот счёт с корреспондентом пресс-центра «Новое поколение» Алёной Кампане.
Корр.: В чём опасность пропаганды гомосексуализма в обществе?
Алекс Спак:
Во-первых, пропаганда гомосексуального образа жизни посылает сигнал
обществу, что это здоровый и приемлемый образ жизни, в то время как он является аморальным и разрушительным. 

Давайте не будем вдаваться в риторику и сразу перейдём к фактам.
В сентябре этого года Американский Центр по Контролю и Предупреждению Болезней (The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), который является частью государственной структуры и подчиняется Министерству Здоровья США, расположенный в Атланте, выдал официальную статистику (http://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/docs/FastFacts-MSM-FINAL508COMP.pdf) в отношении положения здоровья гомосексуалистов в США. Несмотря на то, что только 4% мужского населения в США входят в гомосексуальный контакт, они составляют более 50% больных СПИДом среди всего населения США. Это говорит о том, что гомосексуалисты имеют больший шанс получить СПИД.  Учтите ещё, что многие другие просто не знают, что они больны этой болезнью. Это просто трагедия!

 В этом же месяце авторитетное печатное агенство Ройтерс (Reuters) напечатало (http://af.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idAFTRE6875VE20100908?pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0), что эпидемия СПИДа среди гомосексуалистов во Франции выходит из-под контроля и система здравоохранения не знает, что делать. Французский Институт Национального Здоровья (French National Institute for Public Health Surveillance) отметил, что мужчины, живущие гомосексуальным образом жизни, подвергаются в 200 (!) раз большему риску заболеть СПИДом и преждевременно
умереть ужасной смертью. Эти цифры приходят из официальной государственной статистики и, представьте себе, речь идёт о странах, где система здравоохранения считается из самых наилучших в мире!

 Во-вторых, успешная пропаганда очень часто ведёт к легализации. Не думаю, что политик, который любит свою страну и желает ей лучшего, имел бы желание вдохновлять пропаганду такого разрушительного образа жизни у себя дома. Западная практика показывает, что легализация какого-либо аспекта гомосексуального образа жизни очень быстро приводит к «захвату» средств массовой информации и правительственных учреждений, в которых тут же начинают, как грибы, расти судебные иски по дискриминации на почве «сексуальной ориентации». Такие иски помогают гомосексуальным активистам разрекламировать свои действия и приводят к созданию разных подозрительных комиссий по каким-то непонятным правам человека для «решения проблемы». Миллионы денег тратятся на пустые проекты и дискуссии.  Интересно, что тактика гомосексуальных активистов не меняется. Когда входит предложение о борьбе с дискриминацией, то всегда речь идёт как-бы о дискриминации в целом (женщины, меньшинства, расы и религия). Но когда предложение становится более весомым документом и подходит к концу процесса, то вдруг появляется вставочка, включающая «сексуальную ориентацию». Как результат, те, кто работал над документом, находятся под давлением желания не показаться, как поддерживающими дискриминацию в обществе, и сбавляют оппозицию гомосексуальным активистам.

 В-третьих, как показывает печальная практика Западных стран, гомосексуальные общества категорически не переносят никакую здоровую критику, приемлемую в нормальном демократическом обществе. Примеров тысячи. Приведу пример недавней борьбы в Британском Парламенте за сохранение вставки в законе, обуславливающей сохранение свободы слова по отношению к обсуждению сексуальной этики. Когда в 2009 году внесли новый закон о запрете «угроз или разжигания ненависти», лорд Ваддингтон (Lord Waddington) внёс вставку в закон. Которая поясняла, что «обсуждение или критика сексуального поведения или сексуальной практики, или убеждение собеседника удержаться или изменить такое поведение или практику не должно само по себе считаться угрозой или намерением разжигания ненависти». Гомосексуальное общество вело ярую борьбу против этой вставки, потому что она рушила все их возможности затыкать христианам рот новым законом. Они хотели, чтобы любой вызов, брошенный их образу жизни, был разрушен через суды и поэтому эта вставка сидела у них, как кость в горле, так как она сохраняла свободу слова. Слава Богу, здравый смысл победил! Даже неверующие люди стали на нашу сторону, так как было явно, что свобода слова в демократической стране начала попираться. Комик Рован Аткинсон, известный как Мистер Бин, также стал на нашу сторону, так как без этой вставки он даже не смог бы шутить о гомосексуалистах без страха попадания в суд.

Другой пример – изгнание Филипа Ларднера (Philip Lardner) из кандидатов в депутаты Британской Консервативной Партии. В апреле 2010 года, во время предвыборной кампании, консерватор Филип Ларднер баллотировался на депутатское кресло.  Консервативная Партия хотела набрать максимальное количество мест в Парламенте и поэтому держала всех своих членов в сильном напряжении, как обычно и происходит на выборах. Господин Ларднер написал на своём сайте, что он «всегда готов поддерживать права гомосексуалистов так, чтобы они имели равенство и уважение в государстве. И чтобы они имели возможность выбирать для себя образ жизни и что делать в укромных местах, но я», – он продолжил, – «никогда не приму, что это нормальный образ жизни и что дети должны быть вдохновлены жить этим образом жизни. Я согласен с правительством Маргарет Тетчер, которое запретило пропаганду гомосексуализма в школа». В течении нескольких часов (!) Филип Ларднер был изгнан из кандидатов в депутаты, чтобы партия не потеряла голоса со стороны гомосексуалистов. Зная настроения гомосексуального общества, партия решила двинуться молниеносно, чтобы не допустить ухода голосов гомосексуалистов к другим партиям. Лидер партии Дэвид Камерон (сегодняшний премьер министр) даже вышел на телевидение, чтобы похвастаться, как быстро Партия отреагировала на «такое поведение». Это явно показывает чрезмерную чувствительность гомосексуалистов к любой критике. Даже к такой мягкой. А как же насчёт элементарной свободы слова? И представьте себе – речь идёт о Консервативной Партии!  Либералы и социалисты уже давно не могут ничего сказать. (далее…)

Насилие, как одна из причин гомосексуализма Март 12, 2010

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, Новости - News, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ.
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Алёна Кампане

Столько толков, мнений, дискуссий в народе о том — является ли гомосексуализм угрозой для общества, или всё-таки не стоит уделять столь большое внимание этому явлению. И если не обращать внимания, то может, он со временем исчезнет.

Одни в народе машут рукой, что, мол, у вас больше нечем заняться, другие – смеются и частенько даже в компаниях рассказывают анекдоты о гомосексуалистах. Третьи – недоумевая, просто остаются без всякого персонального мнения, не имея никакого основания и аргументации. А некоторые, как говорится, от греха подальше, предпочитают сохранить полный нейтралитет.

Давайте вместе рассмотрим факты, а также угрозу и последствия, которые несёт эта культура смерти. Эта статистика поможет нам раскрыть глаза и самим сделать соответствующие выводы. Почему проходят гей-парады в городах? Почему в христианских странах лоббируются интересы секс-меньшинств, даже не принимая во внимания мнение большинства народа? Что за этим стоит, и как бороться с культурой смерти?

Предлагаю читателю вначале познакомиться с фактами о причинах возникновения гомосексуализма. Согласно статистическим данным д-ра Пола Камерона, основателя и руководителя Института исследования семьи, гомосексуализм имеет следующие корни:

Инцест является одной из причин гомосексуализма. По статистике, 69% опрошенных гомосексуалистов призналось, что всё началось с кровосмесительных половых отношений в детстве (когда насилие совершалось собственными отцами, отчимами и т.д.).

Многие гомосексуалисты родом из приёмных гомосексуальных семей. Насилие в семьях происходит ежедневно. Ребёнок, воспитанный гомосексуалистом, однозначно вырастает таким же. Подобное влияние особенно вредит ребёнку (это главная причина, почему христиане против адаптаций детей гомосексуалистами). 60% гомосексуалистов выросли в приёмных семьях, где подвергались сексуальному насилию.

Другой причиной гомосексуальной ориентации является растление малолетних до 16 лет преподавателями. Напрашивается вопрос: позволительно ли учителям с нетрадиционной ориентацией обучать детей. Многие утверждают, что гомосексуализм социально приемлемое явление. Но, к сожалению, среди гомосексуалистов процент насильников значительно выше, чем среди гетеросексуалов. И главными в решении подобных вопросов должны быть права и интересы детей. Учителя-гомосексуалисты в учебных заведениях представляют особую опасность детям.

Нередко, человек избирает гомосексуализм в результате садомазохизма и также после множества беспорядочных гетеросексуальных связей.

Анализируя эту печальную статистику, можно ли оставаться равнодушным или толерантным к пропаганде гомосексуализма в нашей стране? Вежливый нейтралитет в этом вопросе равнозначен молчаливому согласию на рост сексуального насилия в школах. Сексуальная толерантность лишит наших детей какой-либо личной безопасности в учебных заведениях.

В отчёте Министерства здравоохранения США за 1989 год (в странах СССР такой статистики просто не существует) говорится, что до 30% самоубийц среди молодежи это геи и лесбиянки. Этот факт, как и все связанное с гомосексуализмом, можно трактовать по-разному.

Возможно, столь высокий процент геев и лесбиянок среди самоубийц объясняется греховной, неправильной, неестественной природой гомосексуальности. Библия говорит: «Возмездие за грех – смерть» (Римлянам 6:23). Гомосексуалисты своими же руками вершат суд Божий над собой.

Можно ли назвать дискриминацией подавление того, что приносит реальный вред обществу. О какой толерантности может идти речь, если существует угроза здоровья и благополучия наших собственных детей?! Кто остановит эту угрозу?

Кто-то должен стать первым, кто возвысит голос за истину. Сегодня общественное мнение еще на стороне традиционной семьи, но люди не осознают важности активного противодействия “голубой экспансии”. Необходимо поднять дух народа (общественное мнение), чтобы извращение всегда и везде вызывало такую же реакцию, как и другие преступления.

Возбудить дух народа могут именно общественные акции и пикеты в поддержку законов, блокирующих легализацию гомосексуальных браков, адаптацию детей геями и лесбиянками. Давайте также посмотрим на т.н. “манифест геев”, опубликованный на сайте НГО «Любовь против гомосексуализма».

«Мы будем сексуально использовать ваших сыновей, оплот вашей немощной мужественности, ваших банальных мечтаний и безвкусной лжи. Мы будем совращать их в ваших же школах, общежитиях, гимназиях, раздевалках, спортзалах, семинариях, молодежных группах, туалетах кинотеатров, армейских казармах, мотелях, мужских клубах и зданиях парламента. Везде, где мужчины встречаются с другими мужчинами, они реваншируют наш имидж. Они будут страстно желать и боготворить нас».

«Женщины, рыдайте о свободе. Вы говорите, что мужчины вас больше не удовлетворяют, что они рушат ваше счастье. Что ж, мы знатоки мужского лица, мужского тела и заберем их у вас. Мы будем развлекать их, мы будем учить их, мы утешим их, когда они плачут. Женщины, вы говорите, что готовы жить друг с другом вместо мужчин. Что ж, идите и живите друг с другом. Мы подарим вашим мужчинам неведомые им доселе удовольствия, потому что мы сами – лучшие из мужчин. И только мужчина знает, как на самом деле угодить другому мужчине. Только мужчина способен понять глубину чувств и переживаний, разум и тело другого мужчины».

«Ваши законы, запрещающие гомосексуализм, будут отменены. Новое законодательство будет поощрять любовь между мужчинами. Все гомосексуалисты должны встать плечом к плечу как братья, мы должны быть едины в искусстве и философии, едины социально, политически и финансово. Мы переживем триумф только тогда, когда сможем представить нашему злобному гетеросексуальному врагу свое единое лицо. Если вы осмелитесь назвать нас голубыми или педерастами, мы заколем вас в ваши трусливые сердца и надругаемся над вашими мертвыми ничтожными телами».

«Мы будем писать стихи о любви между мужчинами. Мы будем ставить спектакли, в которых мужчины открыто ласкают мужчин. Мы будем снимать фильмы о любви между мужественными героями, которые заменят ваши дешевые, искусственные, сентиментальные, скучные, инфантильные, гетеросексуальные страсти, доминирующие сегодня в кинозалах. Мы изваяем статуи красивых молодых мужчин, смелых атлетов и установим их в ваших парках, на площадях и торговых рядах. Мировые музеи наполнятся изображениями прекрасных обнаженных юношей. Наши писатели и музыканты сделают любовь между мужчинами модной и престижной, и нам это удастся, потому что мы являемся экспертами в популяризации стиля».

«Мы устраним гетеросексуальные связи при помощи юмора и сатиры, при помощи средств, которые умеем использовать профессионально. Мы снимем маски с влиятельных гомосексуалистов, которые притворялись гетеросексуалами. Вы будете потрясены и напуганы, когда узнаете, что ваши президенты и их сыновья, ваши промышленники и сенаторы, ваши мэры и генералы, ваши атлеты и кинозвезды, ваши телеведущие и общественные деятели, ваши священники – не привычные и надежные гетеросексуальные буржуа, которыми, по вашему мнению, они являются. Мы повсюду – мы проникли в ваши ряды. Будьте осторожны, когда мы говорим о гомосексуалистах, потому что мы всегда среди вас: возможно, мы сидим напротив вас или спим с вами в одной постели».

«Компромиссов не будет. Мы не размазня среднего класса. Мы интеллектуалы и аристократы от природы среди человеческой расы, а голубая кровь никогда не пойдет на уступки. Те, кто пойдут против нас, будут отправлены в изгнание. Мы поднимем огромные частные армии, как это сделал Мишима, чтобы разгромить вас. Мы покорим мир, потому что солдаты, вдохновленные и соединенные гомосексуальной любовью и уважением – неуязвимы, как древнегреческие воины».

«Семья – этот рассадник лжи, предательства, тщедушия, лицемерия и жестокости – будет упразднена. Институт семьи, который отравляет воображение и обуздывает свободную волю, будет устранен. В генетических лабораториях будут происходить зачатие и взращивание совершенных мальчиков. Они будут объединены в коммунах под руководством и наставничеством опытных. Все церкви, которые нас осуждают, будут закрыты. Нашими единственными богами будут юноши. Мы приверженцы культа красоты, нравственности и эстетики. Все уродливое, вульгарное и банальное будет уничтожено. Поскольку мы изгнаны из гетеросексуальных кругов среднего класса, то можем жить, руководствуясь лишь голым воображением. Даже крайность для нас слишком малое».

«Наше грядущее утонченное общество будет управляться элитой, состоящей из поэтов геев. Одним из главных требований к претендентам на государственные должности в новом гомоэротичном обществе будет увлечение греческой страстью. Всякий зараженный гетеросексуальной похотью будет автоматически смещен с ответственной должности. Все мужланы, настаивающие на глупой гетеросексуальности, подвергнутся суду органов правосудия и станут незаметными».

«Мы перепишем историю, которую вы наполнили и обесславили вашей гетеросексуальной ложью и искажениями. Мы широко осветим гомосексуальность великих лидеров и мыслителей, которые создали цивилизацию. Мы продемонстрируем неразрывную связь гомосексуализма, интеллектуальности и творчества, гомосексуализм как залог истинного благородства и подлинной красоты в мужчине».

«Мы будем победителями, потому что нас ведут горькие страдания угнетенных, которые вынуждены играть жалкие, второстепенные роли в ваших безыскусных гетеросексуальных шоу на протяжении веков. У нас хватит сноровки использовать оружие и построить баррикады окончательной революции. Трепещите, гетеросвиньи, потому что мы предстанем перед вами без масок».

Объективное изучение фактов полностью опровергает расхожее пропагандистское заявление гомосексуалистов, что сексуальная ориентация является врожденной. За исключением уникальных случаев физических аномалий в организме, человек выбирает сексуальных партнеров одного пола либо делая сознательный выбор, либо в результате сексуального насилия, повлиявшего на психику человека.

Отношение христиан к гомосексуализму основано в большей мере на простых и ясных словах библейских текстов: “Не ложись с мужчиною, как с женщиною: это мерзость” (Левит 18:22). Апологеты гомосексуализма утверждают, что сам Иисус и его ученики одобряли однополую любовь. Однако, Новый Завет также категоричен, как и Ветхий: “Не обманывайтесь… ни малакии [пассивные гомосексуалисты], ни мужеложники [активные гомосексуалисты]… Царства Божия не наследуют” (1 Кор. 6:9-10).

Гомосексуальное поведение греховно, беспорядочно, мерзкое и противоестественно. Это нарушение замысла Бога о человеке. Бог сотворил всех гетеросексуальными. Иисус “сказал им в ответ: не читали ли вы, что Сотворивший вначале мужчину и женщину сотворил их? И сказал: посему оставит человек отца и мать и прилепится к жене своей, и будут два одною плотью, так что они уже не двое, но одна плоть. Итак, что Бог сочетал, того человек да не разлучает” (Матф. 19:4-6).

Более чем в 99% случаев сексуальная ориентация определяется воспитанием, не генами или физиологией. Абсолютное большинство гомосексуалистов либо выросли в неполных семьях, либо пострадали от насилия, психологического, физического или сексуального.

Сексуальную ориентацию возможно изменить посредством терапии и молитвы.

Нужно понимать, что уравнивание геев и лесбиянок в правах с гетеросексуалами поощряет молодежь из неблагополучных семей экспериментировать с противоестественными видами секса, но, главное, открывает двери пропаганде гомосексуализма на всех уровнях: от средств массовой информации до детских учебных заведений. Именно туда, в школы и даже детские сады идут пропагандисты гомосексуализма, получив законодательную поддержку в виде запрета дискриминации по сексуальной ориентации. Их главная цель — получить доступ к чистым умам и сердцам школьников, но еще лучше — детсадовских малышей, которые принимают любую информацию за чистую монету. Когда ядовитые картинки с “папами” и “мамами” одного пола отпечатались в детском сознании, все дальнейшее развитие зиждется на этой модели интимных отношений.

Каким должно быть повседневное отношение христиан и пасторов к этим представителям враждебной идеологии, не нарушая заповедь любви и сострадания?

Сексуально активным, нераскаявшимся геям и лесбиянкам необходимо отказать в членстве в церкви. Тем более, непрошедшие полную реабилитацию бывшие гомосексуалисты не могут быть рукоположены на руководящие должности в церкви.

С другой стороны, пасторам и лидерам нужно быть готовыми служить обращенным геям и лесбиянкам. Ясное понимание духовных и психологических аспектов этого явление должно быть также понятно служителям церкви, как и другие пороки — пьянство, наркомания, насилие и т.д. Необходимо существование узкоспециализированных христианских служений, изучающих гомосексуализм и готовящих методологию для реабилитации.

Гомосексуализм называют культурой смерти. Однополые семьи не способны к воспроизведению, в отличие от естественной семьи. Пропаганда гомосексуализма — прямая дорога к демографической катастрофе и вырождению любого народа.

Какой народ заинтересован в своём вырождении? История нас научила на примере Содома и Гоморы, что за одну ночь Бог стёр с лица земли тысячи людей за мерзость гомосексуализма. И сегодня мы, христиане, будучи священниками своего народа, в ответе за происходящее в нашей стране! Закроем ли мы все двери и окна своих домов от этой мерзости? Или же вручим извращению ключи от наших городов — посредством толерантной или нейтральной позиции?

Strengthening Marriages in Your Church Сентябрь 20, 2009

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, Брощюры, Трибуна братства - The brotherhood tribune, Цитаты Великих - Great Quotes, eMagazines, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ, Today's Devotional.
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by Ted Bichsel

An alarming number of Christian marriages end in divorce. What can the church do to reverse this trend?

I had just started my new position as an associate pastor back in 1983. There I was at a barbecue for the adult Christian singles. The majority of those attending were divorced. With each hurting conversation and each prayer of restoration, my burden grew for these singles.

Later that year, I sat in a small support group for divorced men and women, hoping to find how to best minister to them. One of the singles, perhaps sensing my dilemma, blurted out: «The best way you can minister to the divorced is to minister to marriages.» It was then that I realized that the greatest ministry I could have to the divorced single was to build strong marriages.

Many of us in ministry have seen marriage ministry as developing a series of events, banquets and seminars filled with behavioral challenges to «fix» marriages. In the 1950s, ministering to a married couple or to the family meant simply opening the doors on a Sunday. Add a bean supper and a church picnic, and you were set. That worked back then. But that is no longer the case.

In the new millennium and beyond, many church leaders are realizing that a dual-income, working couple is far less available for and interested in the covered-dish dinners of the past. The need level goes beyond the annual church picnic. Information and its application for first-generation Christians only scratch the surface of a truly effective marriage ministry.


With the latest Barna study indicating a 50 percent divorce rate for those outside the church as well as those inside the church, the ministry for Christian marriages needs to stretch beyond methods alone.

This generation of Christian marriages needs a heartfelt vision—a vision to teach couples how to live out their marriage covenant every day. The vision must respond to the same Barna study that reported only 1 out of every 1,150 marriages of born-again Christian couples who have regular prayer together ends in divorce.

God put Adam in the garden with vision for him that included the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh, Eve. He declared that the two should no longer be two but one. Jesus said, » ‘What God has joined together let not man separate'» (Matt. 19:6, NKJV). Yet what I call the «separating dynamic» is found in much of the normal structure of our churches.

When building a marriage ministry, the questions should not be about the location or the event. The questions should be: Do we have a vision for marriage in our church? Do we know what the Lord wants the marriages and the families of our church to look like over the course of the next year? In five years?

I know that may sound presumptuous. Is it any more presumptuous than assuming that we need a Sunday school marriage class, a Valentine’s dinner or a family night simply because families and marriages exist in our churches?

We have goals for church growth. We have extensive stewardship plans. Outreach opportunities abound, and the ministry to children and youth seem up-front in many churches today.

Do we have a similar vision for each marriage? Do we have a biblical vision that reflects the growth and maturing of each marriage as couples begin to reflect the Lord’s heart? Do we realize the truth in the saying, «As the marriages go, so goes the church?»

We want to see couples become stable and fruitful—but is that enough? I found that our vision for marriage was too small, too limited and even too self-serving. The determining question remains: Are we equipping couples to seek out the vision the Lord has for their marriages? Or are we simply raising up people with no deference to their marital state to simply take care of the «work of the kingdom?»

I have found that the desire of the Lord’s heart is to shine through the married lives of His people. We are called in our oneness to reflect His glory. We are those earthen vessels to an unsaved world. In fact, the greatest opportunity for every healthy marriage to be used by the Lord is their ability to walk through the trials, the communication problems, the financial crises, the teen-ager problems and the rest of what life has for them.

A marriage ministry is not birthed out of helping problem marriages. A ministry to marriages should be based on a vision for each couple to hear the Lord’s voice and then to see where the Lord is calling them into obedience.


There is nothing wrong with having a marriage class, seminar or retreat. We have them all. But a healthy marriage ministry will focus on strengthening marriages, not just fixing marriage problems.

I began to teach a weekly «couples class.» The title alone immediately attracted singles and the divorced. We found that the classic marriage class is designed to fix the problem marriages. I wanted more than that. So we send struggling marriages to the marriage class in hopes that they will get better, graduate and then get back to work for the church.

The very title «marriage class,» along with the predictable subject matter, often defines «healthy marriages» according to a series of dos and don’ts, steps and conditions and understanding one another’s differences. After that, there is just getting through life with a new set of tools.

I changed the traditional «marriage class» Sunday school curriculum title to «couples class.» The next goal was to stretch beyond a standard behavioral focus. Roles, communication, conflict resolution, parenting 101 and the like, although part of the class, no longer were taught as a means to an end. The new focus was to identify and teach the steps in understanding and setting a vision for covenant marriage. Little by little, the class unfolded.

The foundation for a marriage vision is established upon our salvation in Christ. This seems so obvious, but to build a biblical vision of marriage beyond the behavioral changes, Christ has to be the center of both husband and wife if they are to grow in a Christ-centered vision. By knowing who we are as His chosen people, we realize that both our individual callings and our callings as couples are unique, determined and desired by God.

The classes grew each week as couples realized that this was a class for growth and envisioning, and not just repair. The sessions touched each of the traditional subjects with a new principle of growing a godly vision for one’s home and marriage. Communication basics now grew out of learning how a husband and wife see a vision differently. Discussions on security and significance grew from building a team effort for serving and honoring the Lord.


A study through the fruit of the Spirit allowed endless lessons on growing one’s marriage through resolving conflict, changing attitudes and learning to respect one another. The biblical principles for marriage were no longer limited to passages such as Ephesians chapter 5. I found marriage-envisioning principles everywhere. Nehemiah’s prayer in Nehemiah 1:5-10 set a new understanding of covenant in a marriage.

Each lesson was taught in light of the vision the Lord was growing in each couple. The goal of simply being happy was not big enough. One by one, each couple realized that all the individual growth they could experience was equally limited until it was seen through the vision of the marriage relationship.

Couples began to move as one into the ministries of the church. One couple has successfully relocated into full-time missions work. Others have grown in a vision to reach out to their neighbors. Still others have begun to help as volunteers with other Christian organizations.

As couples grow in their marriages, their prayer life increases and the interest is no longer on survival or simply growing. The couples’ energy levels have been transformed into understanding and carrying out the vision for their families.

Husbands now have a goal, a tangible direction in which to direct their families. Wives see the bigger picture as they come alongside their husbands. Together, they learn about their unique callings. The fact is that our marriage ministry has grown well beyond the confines of a class. The growth is flowing over into many areas.

Now couples are praying together at the altar when prayer needs are shared. Husbands are encouraged by our leadership to pray in agreement with the pastoral staff as their wives come up for prayer. Couples now want tools to realize the vision before them. The traditional seminars and behavioral teachings are now passed through the «vision filter» so couples can better realize the greater calling and purpose for their marriages and for their families.

After four years of setting this vision for couples—and with the senior pastor setting it into the leadership marriages—the ministries of the church, the outreaches and the missions are all experiencing good «couples» fruit. Our vision for marriages is no longer limited to the crisis marriages. We now see the potential of envisioned marriages growing for the Lord as each one takes its place in His kingdom.


Making Marriage Ministry Work Outside the Classroom 


Here are some simple but effective steps you can take to strengthen your church’s ministry to marriages without increasing your staff or budget.

**Remember that a married individual is not alone—he or she is part of a couple.

In our effort to accomplish so many things in our churches, we often overlook the fact that a married individual needs to volunteer in light of his or her marriage, not in spite of it.

**Learn the names of the spouses and children of your leadership.

The more we as pastors show an interest in the marriages and families of our leaders, the more they will see their service in light of their families as well.

**Encourage couples to pray together. Invite spouses to pray with you as you pray.

One effective way to do this is to simply instruct a reluctant spouse how to pray, or in some cases, to invite them to pray in repetition after you. This models the importance of marriage and family prayer.

**Examine your divorce policy. Is it clear, and does it ultimately support marriage over divorce?

This is difficult but critical to ascertain, both for the married and divorced alike. People want to know where you stand.

**Offer a divorce recovery and educational track for those who have gone through divorce.

Perhaps your church can join with other churches and use some of the excellent material that is available, such as DivorceCare, for example.

**Develop a complete premarriage, pre-covenant policy.

The church should lay the foundation long before a marriage takes place. By establishing solid, vision-based marriage preparation, you communicate the high value your church places on marriages.

Consider requiring a couple to complete premarital counseling before even putting the date on the calendar. This will mean reeducating the church in some cases, but it is worth it.

**Encourage couples to serve together on various committees or in certain ministries that will help them to grow in their unified vision.

**Before placing a married person in any type of leadership, meet with the spouse as well. You may find that the very nature of serving may put additional stress on the marriage.

**For one month, listen to the «single» messages and the «marriage» messages you are sending out to the congregation. Do you apply all Scripture to the individual only, or do you make application to the oneness found in a marriage?

**Celebrate anniversaries. Announce them and even give out anniversary certificates. Always be open to the opportunity for the renewal of vows.

**Keep your own marriage growing. The growth in your marriage will spur you on to encourage others to do the same.


Resources for Developing a Healthy Marriage

The following books can provide you, your leaders and the couples in your church with invaluable insight in strengthening marriage bonds.

**Divorce Proofing Your Marriage: 10 lies that lead to divorce, 10 truths that prevent it by Linda S. Mintle, Ph.D. A licensed clinical social worker, Mintle helps couples have a healthy marriage. She confronts the lies that couples believe about marriage (marriage is a contract, or marriage isn’t about the mate’s family). The truths deal with such topics as resolving conflicts, understanding covenant, repentance and coping with an affair. This book is an excellent resource for couples, marriage ministries and small groups.

**Intimacy: A 100-Day Guide to Lasting Relationships by Douglas Weiss, Ph.D. Executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Centers in Colorado Springs, Colorado, Weiss explores finding sexual agreement, consistency in marriage, coping with money matters, dealing with the anger enemy and many other marriage topics. There is a 100-day log for couples as well as exercises for sharing feelings.

**Heal Your Past and Change Your Marriage by Paul and Kristina McGuire. Paul hosts a daily radio talk show in Southern California. The book leads with exploring the marriage covenant, followed by how to fight for your marriage in the Spirit. An excellent guide to taking steps to emotional healing follows, with teaching on sex and romance. This is an excellent resource for couples who want to grow spiritually through pain and hurt.

**Better Sex for You by Helen Pensanti, M.D. Host of the popular Trinity Broadcasting Network show Doctor to Doctor, Pensanti uses humor and frankness to help couples understand and discuss sexual issues in their marriage. This book was written to help couples maintain a long, healthy sexual relationship.

**Lord, I Wish My Husband Would Pray With Me by Larry Keefauver, D.Min. Larry and Judi Keefauver conduct marriage and parenting seminars in churches worldwide based on this popular book, which helps couples pray through and tear down walls of such things as unresolved anger, unfulfilled expectations, unhealed hurts, unkept promises and undignified communication. This is an excellent resource for classes and small groups.

**Can Stepfamilies Be Done Right? by Joann and Seth Webster. This stepmother/stepson team writes a very practical guide for blended families. This superb resource explores discipline, the role of a stepparent, dealing with the past and living through the three cycles of a stepfamily. It is a helpful and practical guide for blended families struggling through the many adjustments of living together.

Ted Bichsel is pastor of Smithtown Tabernacle in Long Island, New York.

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New minister survives pain, depression Август 10, 2009

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, Трибуна братства - The brotherhood tribune, Цитаты Великих - Great Quotes, eMagazines, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ, Today's Devotional.
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By Brian Bethel (Contact)
Saturday, August 8, 2009

For Reporternews

About 10 years ago, Brent Isbell, the new minister at University Church of Christ, was in a car accident that left him filled with anger and resentment.

“It was a bumpy time with God; I’ll be honest with you,” he said. “I wasn’t sure even if I was able to stand and walk and preach again; I wasn’t sure that I was going to have much good to say about God anymore.”

Even after all this time, it is difficult to talk about, said Isbell, who today steps into the slot occupied for 28 years by the church’s longtime minister Eddie Sharp.

At the time of the accident, Isbell was with Turnpike Church of Christ in Grand Prairie, where he served from 1996 to 2004. About eight miles north of Guymon, Okla., en route to see his cousin and his wife in Garden City, Kan., Isbell and his wife were in a serious head-on collision.

Melinda Isbell and the three people in the other vehicle only suffered bumps and bruises.

But Brent Isbell had to fight for his life, trapped in the car for an hour and a half.

“They had to get the jaws of life to get me out,” he remembers.

Careflighted first to Amarillo, then to Lubbock, he spent three weeks there in the hospital as physicians tried to “put me back together,” he said.

He suffered multiple fractures — one femur was fractured seven times. His right ankle had shattered. He had a broken hand.

Surgeries and intense physical therapy followed, and he spent six months unable to preach or even do much of anything, he said.

“Pain, painkillers, depression, the whole gamut,” he said, when asked to describe the period.

Now, as he returns to Abilene, where he got his first training in ministry, he can look back, follow the narrative that later emerged and see how months of pain and uncertainty became an unlikely but prodigious gift.

“Through the bitterness, God reached out to me,” he said. “He continued to answer my prayers. He continued to be present with me.”

Out that experience, he and his wife made their decision to adopt the first of two daughters from China.

“Somehow in this death experience, there had to be some kind of resurrection,” he said.

He describes the adoption of the couple’s first daughter, Jordan Mei Isbell, 8, in 2002 as a “marvelous, marvelous moment.”

It was a decision that positively affected every aspect of the Isbells’ lives, he said.

“Our marriage got so much better,” he said. “We became parents. Preaching got so much better. The truth is, I came out of the experience with a lot more to say about God than I had ever imagined. … I felt like I had come so close to death myself.”

He regards it still as a formative moment in his marriage, in his ministry and in his own personal faith, he said.

Sarah Lin Isbell joined the family in 2004. The children have two profoundly different personalities, their father said.

“Jordan, when we got her, was perfect, happy, lively and healthy,” he said. “When we got Sarah, she was sick. She had been in a very tough orphanage situation, and we got to go in and see that while we were there.”

Children in China are often abandoned in places where they will be found. Jordan was left at the entrance to a public market and Sarah at a bookstore in different cities in Guang Dong, the southernmost province of China.

Isbell said in a profile released to the church’s congregation that he and his wife reinforce to their daughters that the action was an act of mercy, “a beautiful courageous thing to make them available for someone to raise them to be safe and cared for.”

“We have a real heart for the plight of little girls in China because of the time we spent there and the experiences we’ve had,” he said Thursday morning at the church.

But he describes both as “jewels,” and in many ways their presence in his life influenced his decision to join University Church of Christ, which stands across the street from Abilene Christian University.

“We had concerns about raising children in the big cities, and we’ve always loved Abilene and we loved the school,” he said. University Church of Christ also happens to be the place his parents were married in 1961, he said.

Still, when the opportunity came up to go to Abilene, he had a bit of trepidation, he said.

“My first thought was that was going to be brutal — following someone with that long of a tenure,” he said, referring to Sharp.

But after time and prayer, he said, eventually the couple concluded the church might be a good fit.

Isbell, who made the decision to become a minister when he was in junior high school, comes to Abilene from Bering Drive Church of Christ in Houston, where he and his family served for five years.

As a minister, he has also served at Merkel, Ennis and Grand Prairie. He has also taught at the University of Houston as an adjunct faculty member in religious studies for four years.

He describes himself as having deep West Texas roots. Born in San Angelo, he grew up in Garland. After graduating in 1982, he went to ACU that fall.

His initial degree, earned in 1986, was in finance. But he started his first of three graduate degrees immediately thereafter, eventually earning a master of religious education and a master of divinity from ACU in 1988 and 1995. He received his doctor of ministry degree from Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary in 2002.

“Preaching just kind of fascinated me, the idea of ministry and what ministers do — making a difference in the world,” he said. “In many ways, it’s hard for me to remember a time when I didn’t want to go into ministry. It’s sort of been a lifelong call.”

Isbell said he has learned that most people “are about the same,” even if on the surface they can be very different.

“At our core, we all hunger and want for the same things,” he said. “We all have stories of pain; we all have very deep-seated wants and desires that sometimes we don’t even understand. Many of those are profoundly spiritual.”

Every day is different, and he has learned, he said, that God “pursues us, stays with us and loves us more than we can understand.”

University elder Billie Currey said Isbell’s background, including a desire to work with people of all ages, made him a good fit for University Church of Christ.

“He can relate well to our senior members, but at the same point in time, he’s demonstrated his interest in college-age kids,” he said. “He just brought a good combination of experiences then a vision for what a congregation that’s across the street from a university should look like.”

One goal for Isbell is to attract more college students from across the way. But Currey, an elder at the Church for 12 years and a member for more than 50, said that the church wanted to extend a greater outreach to those on the ACU campus, while also extending its relationship with the surrounding community.

“It’s a diverse brotherhood that we have in Abilene,” Currey said.

Lovemaking,Sexuality and Foreplay Август 9, 2009

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, Библейские уроки-Bible lessons, Трибуна братства - The brotherhood tribune, Цитаты Великих - Great Quotes, eMagazines, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ, Today's Devotional.
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Lovemaking, sexuality and foreplay
Herbert Mtowo

I always say to my fellow men that, “The body of a woman is like a musical instrument, it produces sound when picked up to be played.”The quality of the music is not determined by the instrument, but by the player himself. Most men are annoyed by the sound produced by the music not knowing that they determine the music coming out not the instrument. The instrument is just flowing with the way it is played. I have never played a guitar in my life, but if you ask me to play it, it will produce music and sound. But if you get a professional guitar player, you will hear that the sound and quality of music is different. May I put this forward to all men and women, Sex is an art which we are not born knowing. But we have to improve and work on it, to be skilful players so that the quality of music and sound is of great quality and standards.
What type of music are you producing through the instrument, body of the woman in your life, don’t jump to bed with every woman looking for better quality of music, you can make and produce the most beautiful music through that instrument(body),when you master the art of playing and improving your skill, that can be sweet to your ears and your partners Life is very stressful. There are so many things to do, and so little time in which to do them. So when it comes to love making, usually your time is limited. After a full day’s work and perhaps a full evening of responsibilities at home, you are weary.

When you go to bed, your desire for sex is there, but it is getting late. You must get some sleep or you will not be able to wake up in the morning. So what do you do? You rush through your love making and go to sleep. Men are the guiltiest of this. If you are a workaholic then you tend to rush through anything that is not work. So you scoff down your food at meal times and rush back to work. And you rush through your time of love making in the same way. Now as a man you might be able to cope with this. And you probably still enjoy the sex. It does not usually take a man long to reach orgasm. The sight of his naked wife gets his hormones raging, and if he is young and full of energy a few quick strokes will get him there. He falls back satisfied and drifts off to sleep, while his wife lies unfulfilled and frustrated. He did not bother to take the time to consider her feelings or to satisfy her desires. He thinks that he is a good husband, and he probably is a good provider. But he is a fool. He has not only denied his wife the opportunity to enjoy love making, but he has settled for less than he could have had. There seems to be a common idea that most men are crazy about sex and most women are not. This is largely because many women have never been given the chance to enjoy the sexual experience. The truth of the matter is that women are equipped to have a far greater sexual experience than men. A man, once he has reached a climax, cannot continue to enjoy the experience. He would have to wait and start all over again, if he is really energetic. But a woman can have several orgasms one after the other and continue to enjoy the experience even after reaching a climax.

So what is the best way to get the most out of your time of love making? Surely it is for the man to hold back until his wife has reached the same place of arousal as him. And then if he is really considerate, he will encourage her to reach orgasm first, if she desires to do so. For most men this is a difficult thing. When you begin to ‘climb the mountain’ you come to a point where it is all downhill. Once it starts you cannot stop it, and when it is over you cannot start it again. How do you overcome this problem? By the simple use of foreplay. This means bringing your wife to arousal before you complete the sexual act. How is this carried out? Many books have been written on this, and they all major on the physical side You get them in your email box daily. Those advertisements that promise you the best sexual experience you have ever had. For the man an enlargement of his genitals. For the woman an increased sensation to heighten pleasure.

Are there that many impotent and frigid people out there to justify all this of this hype that is made about the sexual experience? Or is this just another way to make people spend their hard earned money? There certainly are those who are unable to enjoy a normal sexual experience because of a physical malfunction, and where such a problem exists, and a doctor prescribes medication to correct this problem, such medication might be advisable. But for the vast majority of us, the truth of the matter is that we are not enjoying the sexual experience the way we should, and we are seeking some way of heightening it.
I teach on some powerful concepts on how to approach your love making to ensure that you obtain the most from the experience. You will find that if you develop your marriage relationship God’s way, then your love making experience will be wonderful, and the idea of taking some pill or cream to make it better will seem ridiculous. Most men need to know how to eat healthy than spend time on aphrodisiac boosters, good food, can improve your sexual performance as a men. Most men need to cut on their fat, sugar, oil, salt and other junk food intake. There is nothing that is a scary as being with a woman who is not getting enough or satisfied because the men is not doing a good job in bed.
You will find that sex is actually a spiritual experience, and the Holy Spirit will gladly become part of this, as you invite Him into your relationship. Sad to say there a millions of women and men who have not had or experienced quality sexual experience, in their lifetime. One of the major cause for divorce rates is infidelity. Why? I can simply put it that we have kept sex a taboo, topic to our detrimental.
Give me feedback on this topic and many others that we are sending to you, or please email or phone us for your feedback and comments or if you want seminars on these and other issues to be presented to a small group or big group.

 At your service,
Herbert Mtowo and the team behind Jordan Touch Communications.


Misunderstandings In relationships/Marriages Август 7, 2009

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, Библейские уроки-Bible lessons, Трибуна братства - The brotherhood tribune, Цитаты Великих - Great Quotes, eMagazines, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ, Today's Devotional.
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Misunderstandings In relationships and Marriages

Herbert Mtowo

Your fiancée /husband and you are in the same room, but each of you are doing something different. You start talking to him, but he just ignores you.
«You’re so rude!» you think angrily to yourself, and then storm out of the room. «You can’t even have the decency to listen to me!»
Your wife(Annita) is about to go to work early for an important meeting. You kiss her and say good bye, and tell her that you’ll be backing her all the way. Annita walks out, and the next moment the door slams violently.
«What the heck is the matter with her?» you think, shaking your head in disbelief. «What did I do to deserve that?»
Irritations Will Happen
I’m sure you could relate your own version of little things that your spouse or partner has done that have irritated you and made you mad. It happens all the time, but almost always there is a logical explanation for it. You are usually just misreading the whole situation. If you’re a woman going through PMS or having a bad monthly cycle, I’m sure you will have more stories than others to tell. There are times when you are going through this period, your husband looks at you in a funny way or something and you just want to smack him! Take heart! There is a solution to this problem.
The first story about Herbert and Annita. On looking back, I realized that I saw the whole situation completely wrongly!I (Herbert) was at fault because Annita and I weren’t specifically having a time of sharing and communicating. Herbert was busy with something else and his mind was on that particular task. I just casually started talking, without even making eye contact with him so that he could see I wanted to talk. Herbert didn’t deliberately ignore me at all! He simply didn’t hear me, and I took it the wrong way.

In this story, the wife had nothing against her husband. In fact, she was thrilled that he was going to back her and stand with her! However, before she could shut the door herself, a sudden gust of wind did the job for her. This made it look as though she was mad at her husband, and he took it the wrong way too.

These types of incidents happen to every courting or married couple, but I want you to know that you don’t have to be defeated by them! You also certainly don’t have to go round all day feeling depressed and upset and getting all sorts of negative thoughts in your mind about it. Watch out, because someone will try and magnify the problem unless you deal with your own negative thoughts quickly!

Don’t Invite Bitterness In

You see, unfortunately no matter what happens to you, or what your spouse says or does that may upset you, you are responsible, for keeping your heart free of bitterness! Bitterness is such a powerful poison, and you cannot afford to let even a drop of it come into your marriage. If you do,the enemy will take that little drop, and will try and make it look way worse than what it really is! He will try to make you blow things out of proportion. You will begin to believe lies and think that things are really worse than they are.

Then you will do one of two things. You will either continue to seeth in anger for days, or if you get your courage up to confront your spouse about everything, you will blow up at him (or her) like Mount Vesuvius, and make things a whole lot worse too. I sometimes wonder how many separations or divorces have started over a simple, unresolved misunderstanding.

There is another good reason for dealing with your bitterness quickly, and that is if you don’t, you put a negative force on your partner that can be very destructive. Now not only do you have a bad day because you are mad, but because you are not flowing out in love towards your spouse or partner, they have a bad day too! When you look at it like that, it’s rather scary when you think of the consequences of your actions!

So what can you do about this situation now? You’re mad, upset, confused — whatever your emotion is at the time. Don’t let a silly little thing like this ruin your day. It is often not even worth confronting your spouse about. There’s a better way to sort the problem out. What is it? The minute you get angry or upset you need to deal with it right then and there, because if you leave it unattended to, it will begin to boil and bubble up on the inside and give you ulcers and gray hairs. It’s really not worth it.

You may be thinking, «Yes, but what if we have guests or something and he makes me mad by saying something that upsets me?»

That shouldn’t be any problem. Simply excuse yourself if you’re able to and slip away into the bathroom or another room. It will take you two minutes or less to solve! If you simply cannot do that, then whisper quietly under your breath. Whatever you do, try and deal with that anger right away.
Share In Love
When you have dealt with your own negative feelings as I’ve just shared, if you really want to, you can share it with your spouse later on when you come together specifically to talk and share about your day. Now you will be in a much better position to handle it. You won’t come with accusation and nasty words and probably cause a big fight in the process. You will come from the point of view that you had a problem. You will be able to share logically and find out if there really was a problem or simply a misunderstanding.

As I shared earlier, a lot of the time you will not need to even talk about what happened. It’s not worth even bringing it up. Besides, it’s much better to talk about positive things, like your desires, plans and aspirations and future plans together. If however, you feel that you really need to share things with your spouse that you are not happy about, and if it is becoming too much of a problem, then you need to carry out this Biblical principle: «Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.»

This is very important. I just want to remind you of it here though. If you can deal with anything that is negative and is still remaining in you before you go to sleep, then you will have succeeded in diffusing many potential problems in your marriage. Deal with it in love, then forgive one another and literally ‘put it to sleep’. By doing this you will rest well and wake up free of care, and with love in your hearts towards each other.

Let It Go
You blew it, you missed it!
You said some things you shouldn’t have.
You argued and you fought,
And ugly words were said.
Now your mind is trying to play
It’s nasty tricks on you.
You live the hurt and the pain
Again and again!
Give it up, let it go
And leave the past behind.
Give it up, let it go
And give to me that care.
The past is far behind.
Take my hand and walk with me
Into the future!
Whether you are married or just courting, may you and your spouse or partner be richly blessed together today and increase in every good thing, enjoy your partner to the full.

The Value of Good timing Август 5, 2009

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, Библейские уроки-Bible lessons, Трибуна братства - The brotherhood tribune, Цитаты Великих - Great Quotes, eMagazines, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ, Today's Devotional.
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Herbert Mtowo

The value of timing

You and me are products of the decisions that we make or have made in life.I wish it can be said over and over again,timing is an important skill,or virtue when it comes to determining your tomorrow.They say procrastination is the thief of time.So many people live in regrets over what they could have done,opportunities that they have lost.

We need to be strategically positioned,but above all else we need to very good and sharp when it comes to timing.Am sure we have all heard this statement,»Being in the right place and at the right time»I cant have said it better than this for sure,timing is crucial in determining your success believe you me.The friends you hang out with,your mind set all positions you to the perfect time,life is full of people who have done extremely well successful,mail becoz of their ability to seize the times that came their way.Don’t live life regretting,make very good use of your time.Have you ever thought and imagined why we only celebrate birthday once in a year and not twice per year..?It simply means that,make the best of the times that you have today.

The bible is also full,of men and women who maximized the time in various opportunities and circumstances.There is no need to feel left out,your time is there for you,but you may not know that or fail to make great use of it.Do what you can while you can.Read the following and begin to realize that above all else time matters most and timing is crucial to what you are going to be and achieve in life.
There is a time for everything. So says Solomon in his supreme wisdom. Yet timing is a lost art for most people, especially in our opportunistic culture today. So, do you understand “times”? There’s a lot in the subject of time and timing. So this is just an introduction to the topic. You will remember that end time prophecies refer to such things as “time, times and half a time” (Daniel 12:7, Revelation 12:14).
Jesus knew the times and said of himself, “my time has not yet come” (John 7:6,8).
Members of one of the twelve tribes of Israel, Issachar, were noted for their ability to understand the times, thus knowing what Israel should do in various situations (1Chronicles 12:32). Knowing the significance of times and seasons enables people to make the right choice at the right time.
King Solomon gave us a poetic celebration of the reality of times and seasons.
“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
The most sobering reflection on ‘time’ comes out of the life of Elisha, the powerful prophet of Israel, approx 850 years before Christ. After this man of God healed the Syrian leper, Naaman, he declined to accept the lavish and valuable gifts offered him by the grateful military captain. Elisha’s servant, Gehazi, however, had no qualms about getting a share of the goods and so he secretly went to Naaman and asked for some of the booty, which Naaman happily gave him. When Gehazi returned to his post Elisha challenged him, since the prophet knew by divine revelation what Gehazi had done.
Significant in Elisha’s challenge to Gehazi is the issue of ‘timing’.
“And Elisha said to him, Didn’t my heart go with you when the man (Naaman) turned from his chariot to meet you? Is it a time to receive money, and to receive garments, and olive-yards, and vineyards, and sheep, and oxen, and menservants, and maidservants?” 2Kings 5:26
Elisha knew something about timing that Gehazi did not know. It was not the right time to get wealth. Gehazi’s problem was not greed, nor deception, but ignorance of the time in which he was living.
Now, considering how vital timing is in such a case, how well are we acquainted with timing and seasons in our lives? I suspect that most of us think opportunity is all that is required. If there is an opportunity to get something then the opportunity speaks for itself. Many people end up in some kind of curse, just as Gehazi did, when they act without regard for the times and seasons.
I suggest we all need to be much more prayerful and sensitive to times and seasons. We need to seek God for insight and revelation about how times and seasons impact our lives

Marriage Defined Август 4, 2009

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, Библейские уроки-Bible lessons, Брощюры, Трибуна братства - The brotherhood tribune, Цитаты Великих - Great Quotes, eMagazines, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ, Today's Devotional.
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Marriage Defined

Posted by Herbert Mtowo

From the book, Mending Marriages by Chris Field.
Your working definition for marriage will impact what you are building and how you deal with it. The way you see something impacts how you understand it, value it and treat it. Consequently definitions are very important.
In my book, Mending Marriages, I take a good look at people’s working definitions for marriage. The reason some people need their marriage mended is because they have built the wrong thing on the wrong definition in the first place.
Casual observers see marriage as a ‘relationship’. That’s probably the universal starting point. However the nature of that relationship is where marriages come unglued.
To some people the marriage relationship is a special and life-long bond. Others have a much more casual definition of that relationship, seeing it as a temporary linking which will be broken when better or different alternatives come along.
A good working definition of marriage must bring clarity about the nature of the ‘relationship’.
The next key consideration is the functional aspect of the relationship. How are the couple to maintain their life together? What is the nature of their cooperation? While this is an aspect of the definition of the relationship it bears specific attention as it gives the practical expression of that relationship.
As an initial definition we can thus say that marriage is “a special relationship that fits special structural requirements”.
And that’s where the fun begins. What is the ‘special relationship’ and what are the ‘special structural requirements’? Around the world and through history many variations of both those aspects have been explored. Currently there is a push to move away from the history-long model of a man and a woman in a unique relationship. While alternative relationships have existed they have not been recognised as ‘marriage’, which status is seen as Holy Grail by some people.
Throughout history the ubiquitous model of marriage has placed the main responsibility for the relationship and its maintenance with the man. While modern sensibilities try to demean this reality it remains the most enshrined working model for marriage. Historically, all around the world, the vast majority of marriages have been established on the responsibility of the male, who creates a place of nurture for his wife and children. The wife is thus able to concentrate on her nurture of the children and her husband, while the man deals with the outside world and brings provision for his family.
In view of that long tested model it could be argued that the best way to destroy marriage is to demean men, taking their leadership from them. This will break up the family unit, bring uncertainty and insecurity and rob the home of the stabilising nurture of the mother.
Sadly we see much of that outcome already at work in many western families. While the western family home was a model of mutual benefit for the majority just a century ago, it is now an empty place, devoid of much that is needed to grace the human soul.
The most eminently qualified person to provide a powerful working definition for marriage is God. God created marriage and gave it as a gift to mankind. So God knows how it was designed to work. God knows what both husband and wife must do in order to fulfil the marriage relationship and build an effective family unit.
The Bible gives the most valuable and comprehensive insights into how marriage was designed and what we must to do enjoy its fullest benefits. The marriage relationship is best defined as that bond between a man and a woman which unites them in the relationship which God created for them.
Through the pages of the Bible we discover many things which impact the definition of marriage. We discover that it is God’s creation, not man’s creation. It is a holy union, not a relationship of convenience. Its purposes are divine, not human. Its roles are prescribed by God, not dictated by the power players in any given culture.
The bond is created by God, not the couple. A couple cannot pronounce themselves to be ‘married’. God joins the couple together. It is therefore a ‘holy estate’, not a social construct. And since God joins them together man and woman do not have the power to revoke it. God makes it and man cannot ‘un-make’ it.
God has prescribed specific and unique responsibilities to the man and the woman in marriage. These are not a matter of negotiation by the couple. They are prescribed by God and we will each be judged by God on how well we fulfil His demands, despite what we or our spouse think of the arrangements we have come to between each other.
The ‘relationship’ that is created, therefore, is a moral bond, established by God. It is not principally a social union, but a moral one. Each marriage union is a unique bond, excluding all others. It has the quality of a legal bond, since all who violate it are breaking God’s law.
The marriage union allows the couple to enter a unique moral connection where intimacy between them is made perfectly legitimate and holy. It confers on the couple exclusive sexual privileges.
Altogether, then, marriage is an amazing and awesome divine gift to humanity. Sadly many people do not understand what it is and so they enter into it lightly and without respect for their responsibilities or the accountability they have before God for their handling of His created union.
That’s why I bring the subject up along the way, in various forms. People need their eyes opened to this amazing moral union and its implications. That’s not just for their own sake, but for the sake of their spouse, their descendents and the culture in which they live. When God’s Kingdom comes it must impact the domestic home as much as the global environment or governmental circles.
Now, having given you this lengthy explanation, have a look at the definition of marriage which I present in Mending Marriages.
“Marriage is a unique, irrevocable, legal and moral bond created by God between a man and a woman who commit themselves to each other for life-long union, conferring on them exclusive sexual privileges and offering them loving relationship, mutual co-operation and personal investment in each other, in a divinely ordained structure and process in which both fulfil their unique, divinely created responsibilities, which they are to follow in the fear of God, with God’s gracious endowment and for God’s glory, conferring on them God’s personal blessings through each other as they create an effective and meaningful social unit with unique, multi-generational significance