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LETTING GO PAIN AND LOVE ANYWAY. Март 13, 2012

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in family relationship, man&woman relationship, marriage.
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BY HERBERT MTOWO
We have all experienced emotional pain. Often times someone we have loved has turned their backs on us. Maybe it was a betrayal. Perhaps it was an intentional act of malevolence or outright hatred. Yes, I think we’ve all been there a time or two. Unfortunately that is the nature of human dynamics. Finding joy in these situations is still possible. You simply have to realign your thinking.

When we are attacked, especially by someone we love, the feelings that strike us are negative and hurtful. I mean, how could he or she have done such a thing? Didn’t they know how much you loved them?

In this life there are no sure guarantees. Just because someone loves you today doesn’t mean they will tomorrow. An act of betrayal or hate is usually the sign that the other person has decided to move on to other life paths. Regardless of how much you loved them, there is nothing you can do to change their minds. Remember that, in the end, we are only responsible for our own actions and mental / emotional states. We are not judged by others but by ourselves. When we have learned to expect love or respect in return for what we feel or gave, we set ourselves up for ultimate failure.

Think about the person who has attacked you. Push aside the pain a moment and remember the reasons why you loved that person. Why did you feel that way? Was it so that they would return your affection or was it simply because you cared for them? Has anything really changed? Perhaps they no longer love you, but how do you feel for them?

True love isn’t a quid-pro-quo arrangement. True love says I love you unconditionally. It isn’t about getting something in return. It’s about giving of yourself. The fact that the person no longer wants what you have to give does not make your feelings insignificant. Why? The reason is that love is an intrinsic piece of who you are. You gave that love freely because you chose to. Now it is up to you to continue to feel that way. But will you?

If you decide to be hurt and pull back your love, you only hurt yourself as your love for another person is a reflection of yourself. If you give into anger and hatred then you become angry and hateful. Never do that. Instead continue to realize why you love that person and don’t let go of that emotion. It is OK to let go of the person, but not the love. Take your matured love and move on to another person. By doing so you will become a stronger person less susceptible to pain because you know that you love for love’s sake and not because someone returned a feeling. True love exists intrinsically, and love for a return like an investment was never love but an empty need. You have the choice to make your heart and mind whatever you want. Let love lead you through the pain and finding joy will be your reward. Love unconditionally and learn to let go and move on.

SEARCH FOR KNOWLEDGE AND THE PROPER USE OF TIME. Февраль 6, 2012

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in Inspirational.
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Information is like any other item, it can be collected and accumulated. To do this, it takes time, effort and money and then a place to store all that is collected. Then it is useless and the effort in its accumulation wasted if it is not shown off. So not only is time spent in its accumulation but also in its presentation and sharing.

Knowledge, and the search for knowledge is often related to ones search for meaning and truth, what is life about and why are we here. That knowledge cannot be found in books or magazines, it can only be found by one developing oneself to a state when inner knowledge comes forth. That is not acquired with more and more information, it can only be directly experienced. And that experience takes preparation. Preparation takes time.

Our ego and personality and want to improve ourselves is behind the perpetual acquisition of things, information being one of them. One thing is certain, with all the people out there, and all the time in the past spent creating and writing, there is no way that one person could absorb it all. That means that for one who wants to know everything that is going on in any particular field, or variety of fields their life will be spent accumulating information and there will be little or no time left to develop knowledge. This will lead to a life of being a walking encyclopaedia, which in the end of its days will be set aside for a new edition or used as a door stop or accumulate dust or sold for pennies at a garage sale. Of course there are those who have been born with a great mind and skill that no matter what they read or learn, they become a master of yet another art. Those are exceptions to the rule. Let’s deal with the rule for now.

The human with information, even immense information will at the end of his days, be nothing more than a few cents of carbon and water, with enough iron to make a 2 inch nail, a corpse, an empty dead vessel. Not only that, but it will cost a great amount of money to dispose of this lump of decaying flesh. But knowledge will take the soul to consciousness beyond the end of the body and propel it, stay with it, and be useful.

It is a personal choice, what do you believe. Is life simply being born, living and dyeing, with your achievements hopefully being great enough that your name continues and thereby you become immortal, even for a brief time. Or that you are perpetuated in your offspring generation after generation, until you are forgotten, or is there something that continues regardless of all that is material and human.

Obviously, the only choice that is relevant to the point of this writing is the latter. The next question if that was your first answer is, what continues. Is it information, or is the information wiped out and what has been done with whatever it is that continues that counts. Knowing by reading books on how to fight, or fly an airplane is of no use unless you have the skill. Knowing from reading how to run and remove a cancer without ever having trained by doing is not good enough to insure success. However, some experience, regardless of an immense amount of information will be more useful to keep one alive.

There is a story of two men on a ship. One was a scholar and the other a simple sailor. The whole journey the scholar was putting down the sailor because he did not devote his life to study and only spent his days on a boat. Then the boat hit something and was sinking. Sadly there where no lifeboats, as this was long before. The sailor turned to the scholar and asked if he ever learned to swim. The scholar replied that he did not waste his precious time with such activities. Such a shame said the sailor, because your whole life is about to be wasted.

You will never acquire all the information, and whatever you do get will be outdated within a month because someone else has to come with some new invention to make their mark in the world. One day you may look at all you have learnt and believed to be the greatest discovery, only to find in a short time after that it was replaced by yet a further great discovery. But look into your mind, think of what you have trained it to be, and then decide what you will do today and the rest of your life. What is more important to have or be, thinking from the perspective of what you believe you really are.

Information is only valuable if you use it to improve yourself or the world around you.Train your mind and be creative, be the innovator and not the regurgitator.

PARTNERS IN PAIN Январь 28, 2012

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in Inspirational.
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BY HERBERT MTOWO

Ruth,Naomi and Orpah

Life has its ups and downs that’s for sure. Sometimes we can go months or years without too many major complications in our lives but eventually we all experience loss, grief, pain, or upset of some sort.I have known pain of loss,deaths,poor health,the pain of being scandalized,and I have known that pain in this journey of life. It’s not fun! Life IS full of challenges, pain, sorrow, and exhaustion. We are fighting off tigers and staring down mice all the time. In reality, I believe there is as much joy in the world as there is pain–sometimes it is just easier to see the pain.

Pain is often disruptive, uncomfortable, challenging and destructive at times, yet it is the most important pillar of personal growth.Pain is part of our life cycles as much as it is part of nature’s cycle. We need to be able to accept and deal with pain to improve ourselves and our lives. Often, this is easier said than done.

Do we welcome pain in our lives? Yes and no. The need to grow, reinvent or progress doesn’t come without challenges. It is in these challenges that we recognize we have to leave the designated comfort zone. We know change has to happen, yet we are reluctant to it because of the strangeness, unknown, discomfort or pain we are experiencing.

Change is therefore motivated by pain – not the pain we are facing when we transition to change, but the pain of staying in the same situation, accepting, knowing we cannot move forward. We don’t want things to stay the same, clearly. But which one of these pains will be less bearable?

The lesson we should all partake in life is to not resist change. As one personal development coach says, “The pain of changing now will always be less than the pain of staying the same”. It’s better to be proactive, then, and seek change before it finds us.

Such is the story of the trio, when their husbands died, Naomi, Ruth and Orpah became partners in pain. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t relate to it. It’s a fellowship that transcends age, race, background and status; it brings the oddest people together. When you’re hurting, don’t look for validation from those who haven’t walked in your shoes. People can’t give you what they don’t have. Often the best they have to offer is the kind of optimism that’s glib and quickly becomes annoying.

Until you can start to make sense of your pain and see the greater good in it, you’ll feel like a victim. But once you see God’s grace at work, and His purpose in it all, you can begin to move ahead…to marry…to have another baby…to get another job… to dream another dream…to live again. Spurgeon wrote: ‘Just as old soldiers compare stories and scars, when we arrive at our heavenly home we’ll tell of the faithfulness of God who brought us through. I wouldn’t like to be pointed out as the only one who never experienced sorrow or feel like a stranger in the midst of that sacred fellowship. Therefore, be content to share in the battle, for soon we will wear the crown.’

Giving up a familiar situation, quitting a safe-perceived but unrewarding job, breaking up a relationship that doesn’t work anymore is painful and launches our minds in a post-mortem “what ifs”. It is natural to feel that change is painful as it involves the loss of a current situation. The truth is that not changing is even more painful.

“Life is about growing. If you don’t change, you don’t grow. If you don’t grow, be prepared to feel massive amounts of pain. You see, life wants the best for us. It wants us to be the best we can be”, writes personal development coach, Dean Cunningham, in his book “Pure Wisdom”. In other words, life wants us to change and to experience the painful transition to change.

Most of us will yearn (even secretly) to change. This is either because we are already in a situation we don’t like or we want to improve aspects of our lives for the better. “If there’s no pain, there’s no impetus to change”, explains Cunningham. Although overcoming a personal challenge is frightening and uncomfortable, instead of treating it like an enemy, embrace it like a friend. It’s a golden opportunity to uncover deep, self-limiting beliefs and replace them with new self-empowering beliefs

When it feels as if all Hell has broken loose in your life, remember, Satan hasn’t snatched the steering wheel from God. No, God’s got it all worked out. Victory is born out of struggle. Be encouraged! God often accomplishes more through our pain than He does through our successes. So, hold on to His unchanging hand!

YOU NEED A BIG HEART TO FORGIVE !! Январь 25, 2012

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in marriage.
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Infidelity in marriages is a common issue. Surviving an affair is very hard on the couple as well as the entire family unit. It’s difficult to accept the fact that your husband cheated, but more and more women are deciding to forgive their husbands and move on. Why more women are deciding to forgive infidelity in marriages may come as a surprise to some. It takes great strength in character, plenty of patience and an open heart to forgive after being hurt so badly.

A very common reason women may forgive their husbands is because of their children. It can be very traumatic for children to see their parents break up. In order to save their children hardship, a decision to move on and leave the memory of infidelity behind is not uncommon. Therefore children are sometimes the catalyst which initiates the forgiving process and can lead you and your husband on the right track once again.

Another reason women are deciding to forgive infidelity in marriages is plain and simple. They still love their husbands despite the fact they have been hurt. If you find it hard to think of your life without your spouse, surely there are strong feelings there. The feeling of resentment or betrayal takes some time to diffuse, but then slowly, you come to realize the value of your relationship. Sometimes mistakes like these can make the relationship even stronger and bring a couple closer to each other. Discussing the matter and resolving the troubling issues will do wonders for your marriage.

Infidelity in marriages does not automatically reduce the affection and concern a couple feels for one another. Given the time and space, many women learn to forgive and start focusing on rebuilding their marriage. This is possible only if your husband realizes his mistake and is ready to make up for the damage he has caused to the relationship.

Forgiving your husband does not mean that you allow him to make the same mistake again. He should still be held accountable for his wrong doing and make amends for his behavior. Surviving the affair and forgiving allows you to bury the feelings of resentment and bitterness so that you can be as peace with the circumstances and move ahead.

If you are ready to forgive your husband’s infidelity, there are plenty of resources which can help the process of healing and gaining back the trust and intimacy. The choice should be made depending on how YOU feel and what circumstances YOU are in. If forgiveness is possible and required for surviving the affair then there is certainly no harm in giving your marriage another chance.

It is most important to remember, you should not make a decision in haste! Think about what you want and how you feel towards this relationship. There is no use staying in a relationship that does not give you any pleasure or companionship as it will only lead to more heartache and resentment. But if you truly love your husband and want to give it another try, there is hope in knowing many other couples have succeeded and are enjoying a loving marriage once again.

TEAMWORK IS KEY Январь 25, 2012

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in Inspirational.
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By Herbert Mtowo

Am very passionate about soccer, cricket, tennis and rugby and athletics, you name them sports, this takes much of my time when I am not speaking or writing. Such as in sport your family or staff is your team: you win only when you’re willing to accept the strengths and weaknesses of each player. That includes you too. You’re not perfect and you’re not called to ‘fi x’ everybody, so cut it out! Maybe your spouse is a disaster in the kitchen but they keep a spotless house and the garden’s the envy of the neighborhood.

In relationships,marriages or in church set up, if everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself. At this level it is not about personal brilliance that matters but team work that is the key to unimaginable accomplishments’.

Don’t put your spouse down because you’ve been cooking since you were old enough to reach the stove. No, take the vegetables that are grown and create a meal that makes both the cook and the gardener look good! Teams don’t necessarily win because they have the best players; they win because they can work together. In football even the best player needs other team members to get him the ball, otherwise he’ll never score. Build on your strengths and reduce your weaknesses! One of the sports that I have found to be very interesting is chess, it`s more a team effort sport to win than anything else. Every team member knows the importance of protecting the king to win the game; such is the power of teamwork and team effort for good results.

And learn to accept reality! Some people will never change. You can waste years complaining, causing rifts and driving yourself crazy disorganized, don’t ask them to arrange your next dinner party. Get somebody you can depend on. When you learn to do that, a ‘less than ideal’ team/family can become a source of comfort and love, seeing you through a lifetime of experiences.

Don’t bail out when things are bad. A team or family’s like a stock market — bulls and bears! Wait a little longer! Let God work and things will turn out for everybody’s good! Millions of dollars have been lost, and many a projects fail because people allow their egos, selfishness and greedy to take center stage and dominate than let team work blend them together to make more. In team work we all matter, the ones who are exceptionally gifted also need the average or less gifted to work as a team and produce the desired results.

That is why it is important to note that, to lead your team/family effectively, you need to learn how to huddle regularly. The ‘huddle’ is where a team: 1) sets its goals 2) discusses the division of responsibilities 3) tackles the issues that decide whether it wins or loses. As a coach or parent, even though you call the plays from overhead, your team must be taught how to carry out them on the field. That means working through things, talking through the disagreements and motivating and appreciating each member. Try to listen with an open heart. Don’t just hear what your team members say, try to understand how they feel. Yes, you’re the leader and yes, you can act like the Gestapo and enforce your will if you want to but sooner or later you’ll have trouble, for resentment grows when people feel left out. Every member of your team has to be part of the decision-making process. Involve them!

Ask life to help you look beyond what you want to what’s best for all of you. Don’t fall under the spell of instant gratification. What looks good to you today could be taking you off the path to a better tomorrow. Don’t let ‘outsiders’ into your huddle. Tell them to stay in their own. Too often their opinions are based on hearsay, self-interest or jealousy. Respect the privacy of your team. Build loyalty. Huddle regularly in prayer. When you do that, everybody wins!

Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.
~ Michael Jordan ~

PERSUE YOUR DREAMS !!! Январь 15, 2012

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in Inspirational.
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BY HERBERT MTOWO

Dreams. What are dreams? Dreams are soul food. Dreams are things that give us hope. And when they come true, they often give us joy and happiness. Dreams are important for us to hold onto, and to follow. I know when I have a dream inside me, and I listen, really listen, and work towards it coming true, I am filled with energy, and hopefulness, and happiness. Often, when people let go of a dream, when they lose it, something dies inside.

Everybody has goals and dreams. These dreams are at the center of who you really are. It is the core essence of who you are as a person, and the very purpose of your being.What you are dreaming of accomplishing in your life is Gods way of getting you involved in his Master Plan. You were gifted with a set of dreams and talents, in the hope that you would act out these passions, follow your dreams and thusly move forward in life.

If dreams are so important to the soul, to happiness, then why do so many people try to discourage us from following our dreams? Maybe it’s because they’re afraid of seeing us blossom into our full selves, because that’s a place they’ve never dared to go themselves. Maybe it’s because their own dreams have withered away. Or maybe it’s because they’re just scared, scared of the happiness and energy that comes from a person following a dream—and scared of the vulnerability that someone can open themselves up to when they truly follow their heart.

It is really a great pity that we have been told already since early childhood that we should stop dreaming and start living.What a mistake! Living is dreaming! This is exactly why we are here: to pursue our dreams! Not for selfish reasons, but for the sake of everybody.

By following our dreams, you and me become better people,happy people, shining brightly like a sun, lightening up the lives of those around us.

If we decide to forget about our dreams, then we will become like plant without water or sunlight, leaves hanging down, begging for water and looking rather miserable. Are we of any help to ourselves or to the world when we abandon our dreams?

Thats why I can confidently say that your dream is the reason for the way you are! Your dream is not a coincidence. Your dream IS who you are. You should pursue it! Your dream gives you a sense of meaning and purpose, and drives you on into your chosen future. Your dream is the meaning of your life!Why then does it seem to be so difficult to follow your dream?

First, because of the anti-dream-program running in your head, a program installed when you were just a kid.Second, because your dream is always outside of your comfort zone. Pursuing your dream requires conscious effort, growth and change; this can feel somewhat uncomfortable in the beginning. You may experience some fears and worries, but this is normal.

This we all must be reminded that the result for not following our dreams or passions, is not only a statistical waste, but it results in unhappiness. Rightfully so. You’re putting your potential on a leash JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN HAVE IT! You’re conforming to culture. This literally means you’re letting society tell you what you are capable of doing. The solution is to learn how to change your beliefs.

If

PERSUING YOUR DREAMS

PERSUE THEM DREAMS.

you don’t you are only another case of history repeating itself. The good new is that it’s very possible if you don’t give up. The bad news is that it’s difficult and it takes some time. But it’s only difficult in the short run. After that, you’re living the dream.

It shouldn’t matter what other people say about your dreams. If you have a dream that makes you feel good, follow it. Don’t let sour criticism spoil your dream. Hold onto it, and do the best you can to make it come true. Hold onto your dream in the long nights it takes to get where you want to go—and notice each small step of success as you get there. Nurture your dream. Nurture yourself.

But other people aren’t the only ones who put down our dreams, or try to suppress us. Sometimes we can be the most critical of our own dreams, by dismissing them or telling ourselves that they can’t happen. When we let go of our dreams, we let go of a part of ourselves. We suppress a part of ourselves. And that can deaden us inside, to emotions, to hope. It can bring a lot of pain—because we’re not letting ourselves reach for something that fulfills us. We’re not letting ourselves try.

Not allowing ourselves to follow our dreams, or even to just dream, can eat away at us, and cause us to become bitter, angry, and self-loathing. But following our dreams—ah, that’s what releases us. Even when it’s hard—even when it’s scary and we feel like giving up and we can’t think how we’re going to get there—even then, there’s something that feels right to us, deep in our souls, something that speaks to our hearts and makes us feel alive.

Dreams and aspirations are kind of like seeds in a garden. Would you just plant seeds and leave them to fend for themselves, expecting them to grow into the desired fruit, vegetable, or flower? Of course not. Without water to stay quenched, fertilizer for growth, and regular weeding your seeds would not thrive at all. In fact they would just wither away. That is exactly what can happen to your dreams. They will never flourish without thought, attention, and energy. Deliberateness is needed. It is the process of putting action to your intentions that will help manifest your dreams.

Dreams are vital to our well-being, and we should all have them.So reach for your dreams. Follow them. Believe in them. And they can come true.

Should Not Shepherds Feed the Sheep? Январь 11, 2012

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Today's Devotional.
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Bishop J-m Gilson-Levi

Bishop J-m Gilson-Levi

Should Not Shepherds Feed the Sheep? Some pastors today have a lot in common with the false shepherds of Israel.  Such pastors may not all be drunkards and say, «Come…let me drink wine» and reel in giving judgment (Isa 28:7).  However, there are those who ignore Jesus’ words to Peter, «‘Simon, son of John, do you lov…e me?’…’Feed my sheep'» (Jn 21:15-19).  Such pastors believe that they are doing God’s work when they are ignoring the needs of God’s sheep.  They believe that the church does not exist for God’s sheep but rather only for those outside of the fold.  Several pastors are like the false shepherds in that they are actually serving themselves and not acting as under shepherds of the Good Shepherd.  They allow the sheep to be vulnerable to attack because the pastors are too busy feeding themselves in lust and in lost.  God says to the shepherds of Israel who did the same,   «Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves!

 Should not shepherds feed the sheep?  You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat ones, but you do not feed the sheep.  The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you ruled over them.  So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd, and they became food for all the wild beasts» (Exe 34:2-4).
 Many pastors make themselves rich off of the sheep, enjoying the fruit of another’s labor.  They demand that their sheep pay tithes to the local church first or else their finances will be cursed (this is biblical but it should not be a fret pression of their dictatorship or not be taken from a person belonging to another church or ministry).  the sheep will have to be blind  or silent if the pastor chooses to use the tithes to purchase a private jet by which he takes several personal trips.  Never mind if the pastor and his family own a huge home that is much more than enough to meet their needs.  Never mind if the pastor and his family all wear the expensive clothes.  Never mind if the pastor does not feed the sheep with God’s Word.  Never mind if the pastor harshly rebukes the sheep for wanting to be fed God’s Word.  Never mind if the pastor feeds the sheep a false vision instead of God’s Word.  They are like those to whom God says,
«The dogs have a mighty appetite; they never have enough.  But they are shepherds who have no understanding; they have all turned to their own way, each to his own gain, one and all» (Isa 56:11).   Though there are several false shepherds presently, the sheep can take comfort knowing that they have a True Shepherd who sought them and keeps His promises: «I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down…I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy.  I will feed them in justice» (Eze 34:15-16).  We sheep can take comfort in this also, «I will set up over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he shall feed them: he shall feed them and be their shepherd.  And I, the LORD, will be their God, and my servant David shall be prince among them…I will make with them a covenant of peace and banish wild beasts from the land, so that they may dwell securely in the wilderness and sleep in the woods» (Eze 34: 23-25).  This is the covenant that the Lord speaks about many times and all that trust in Christ, the Shepherd, who is King of Kings and Lord of Lords, can take comfort in.  «I will make a covenant of peace with them.  It shall be an everlasting covenant with them.  And I will set them in their own land and multiply them, and will set my sanctuary in their midst forevermore.
 My dwelling place shall be with them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people» (Eze 37:26-27).  This should sound familiar because Revelation speaks about its fulfillment, «Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man.  He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God» (Rev 21:3).  We will no longer be dismayed by the false shepherds of our day.  We will enjoy unhindered fellowship with our God.  May the false shepherds repent while their is still time.  May those disobedient shepherds who are true Christians repent and begin living in obedience to God’s Word.  May they make use of the time that the Lord gives them to feed His sheep.  the qualities of a pastor? LOVE

THIS IS A NEW SONG COMING FROM THE UNDERGROUND!!!! Январь 10, 2012

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Today's Devotional.
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He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the LORD. (Ps.40:3)

 

SWIMMING AGAINST THE TIDE !!! Январь 10, 2012

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in Today's Devotional.
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BY HERBERT MTOWO

Life has a way of making us learn when we least excpet to at times.Others choose to sit and wait to die or see their future blown up in smoke,because they have not been afforded the opportunity.Hope will see you througH,1to prove their worth.Right now it’s tough to not feel like a victim. So many events seem to be beyond our control, and so many consequences of the decisions of others appear to have cost so many so much. It’s an easy time to choose to blame others and let events just carry us along- the perfect example of a victim.

And an awful lot of people will do that, and be the poorer for it. They will stop trying to swim upstream, and instead let the current carry them where it may, and they will feel out of control and blame it on things outside themselves. They are victims of events. And victims want every one else to be a victim too – it proves they’re right about their own behavior. They will have chosen to be a victim – even though most would deny it.

Others choose to be victors. Faced with the same events and circumstances and consequences and outcomes as victims, they will continue to swim upstream – possibly more slowly and with more effort, but still working their way toward their goals. They know it may take longer, it may be tougher, but they choose to stand and fight, rather than let themselves be overcome by events. They take action – sometimes actions that seem so small – but they know that only action leads to results. And in doing that they often find opportunities that they couldn’t have dreamed of, but exist because of the very circumstances that turn others into victims. As Steve Schiffmann says in his book Make It Happen Before Lunch, “dwell in possibility, there is always a door somewhere waiting to be opened.”
Victors are optimists, opportunists,are takers of action..

What I have shared above reminds me of Demba Ba,who seven years ago failed trials at English lightweights Barnsley and things were so bad for the budding Senegalese forward that only a French Third Division side, Rouen, could offer him refuge. Earlier trials at French clubs Lyon and Auxerre had also ended in failure for Ba.
Another English lightweight, Watford, were not so sure and, to minimise their risk, offered him a one-year contract in 2005 but after manager Ray Lewington was fired, his replacement Aidy Boothroyd felt Ba wasn’t good enough, and froze him out of the first team.

He quit and moved to the French Third Division from where he was signed by Belgian club, Mouscron, in 2006 but, after scoring in each of his first three games, Ba fractured his tibia and fibula and was out of action for eight months.

He arrived at English Premiership side, Stoke City, last year and failed his medicals, the second time this had happened in his career, after an intended move to German side Vfb Stuttgart in July 2009, also collapsed after he failed a medical.

Noone at either Stoke or Vfb Stuttgart has disclosed to the world the nature of Ba’s medical shortcomings.But shortly after his Stoke ordeal, Ba was whisked away by his agents to try his luck at West Ham United and was signed.Given all the drama that has gone on in his career, from the heartbreak of his rejection at Lyon, Auxerre and Barnsley, the cold treatment at Watford, the injury curse at Mouscron, the failed medicals at Stoke and Stuttgart, you would be forgiven to wonder how Ba has kept going all these years.

And, given the explosive success he has enjoyed at West Ham and Newcastle United, you will be right to wonder what the hell was going on in the minds of all the managers at Lyon, Auxerre and Barnsley who decided he wasn’t good enough.

Given the prolonged spell that he has completed leading the line at West Ham and at Newcastle, and staying healthy all the time, while taking a lot of the brutality that comes with the defensive hardmen employed specifically to stop him scoring goals, you will be right to wonder what the hell was going on at Stoke when they announced he had failed a medical.Ba scored seven goals in 12 games for West Ham last season before leaving the club, after his goals failed to save them from relegation, thanks to a clause that allowed him to go elsewhere for free in the event that the Hammers had been relegated.

He has scored 15 goals, in 19 appearances, for Newcastle United and, on Wednesday the 4th of January 2012 , he struck a beauty against Manchester United that sent his stock sky-rocketing and, in an instant, turned him into the striker the whole world was talking about.Ba turns 27 on May 25 next year and, even if you are not Senegalese, you can’t help but take a bow for this remarkable marksman, if not for his goals that have made waves, then for his incredible life story in which his courageous fight to defy the odds heavily staked against him.

I like Demba Ba, even after all the torture that he put me through as a die-hard United fan on Wednesday night, because he represents the greatness, on the sporting fieldsand in life that we as human beings can achieve as long as we keep focused on pursuing our goals.

In life attitude is everything.Is your glass half empty or half full? When was the last time you tuned in to your personal attitude barometer?The only difference between being a victim and being a victor is your attitude toward the situation.Life happens; it is as good or as bad as you make it.It is a personal choice to let small things ruin your day.You run out of coffee creamer or your favorite shirt is dirty.Even getting laid off at work or watching your portfolio diminish really pale in comparison to having someone else decide your fate, as in Demba ba`s situation. Now and again, Demba Ba stumbled upon a number of difficult managers who probably didn’t like him/his dark features and rather than judge him on substance they decided to judge him on the colour of his skin and told him he had failed trials at Barnsley, of all teams folks, Auxerre, and all the funny teams.

Someone at Stoke City decided he was not medically fit to play at the Britannia and told him to try his luck elsewhere, although chances of him succeeding were very minimal,but we now know that he was medically okay and chances of him succeeding were very, very good.There are some people who seem to breeze through life, rejoicing from one triumph to the next,that`s Demba Ba for you folks.But by contrast, there are others who never quite make it, and always have a reason why life has dealt them a hard blow. Society is made up of victors and victims, and the difference can very often be boiled down to one key factor – attitude. Use today to pay attention to the things that you use as an excuse to be a victim.You can allow a betrayal in a relationship,to leave you forever feeling

Hope will see you through

wounded,sulky,bitter and spiteful or use it as an opportunity to improve yourself and find a more meaningful relationship.Believe you me it hurts and cuts deep to have a heart break,but as they say its not the end of the world,embrace pain as a schoolmaster into greatness.

You can mourn a job loss or use the opportunity to pursue your passion and create the life of your dreams.Need some inspiration and motivation to give your attitude a 180?To be a victor requires courage, goals that keep victors pointed toward where they want to go, and an understanding that they may not be able to control all the things that happen to them, but they sure can choose how they deal with them. Victors keep control of their responses. They have their bad days – weeks – months -years but they persist.Demba Ba has set the English Premier League aligt with hi scoring prowess,but he persisted were others wavered and chickened out.

And in doing so they win in the game of life. Regardless where you are right now, choose to grab hold of whatever it is that you really want, set your plan to get it, and act. You’ll be better for it – I guarantee you.Choose to face your pain,loss,rejection and refuse to form a sorry me and pitty me Social Club.

FIRED UP BY SETBACKS !!! Январь 8, 2012

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in Inspirational.
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BY HERBERT MTOWO

Life is not easy, and you and me — like all people — are bound to face many challenges. But it is the hardships in life that make us stronger, as long as we come out on the other side. If it happens thta you are dealing with setebacks and hardships in your life, it’s hugely important that you learn to cope.Throughout a person’s life, they are faced with numerous obstacles, and challenges of different types. There are times, when you want to say to life I dont know about yu,but I have said this many a times: “Please give me a break. Just give me a chance to catch my breath.” But life doesn’t listen,life can be a very stubborn nut to crack. Sometimes, as soon as we raise our heads, it knocks us back down. Can you relate to a time in your life, perhaps even now…..,Does it seem like no matter what you do, things just don’t seem to be working in your favor?My life in particular, has not been an easy walk in the park!I have been knocked left right and center,struggled with poor health,deaths in the family,you name them. But through all, I find myself still moving on, though at times gasping for breath! (May be not at the exact pace I wanted… though).A wise close friend once told me,some years back,“After you have been knocked down or pushed back by life, you should acknowledge the setback, understand why it happened, and then make a leap ahead of where you were when you were hit. That’s how to become the person you always wanted and dreamt to be.” The bible says,»Unless a grain of wheat falls into the gound and dies,it shall abide alone,».[ food for thought this is] Most of us have experienced certain bad things that were quite simply put unfair. People can be cruel. Bad things do happen to good people. And you may find yourself in certain situations that are not your fault — but terrible all the same. Even worse, people will wrong us. And we sometimes do not act in accordance to our own values.When dealing with wrongs in life, you should learn to forgive. And that means forgiving others — as well as yourself. It’s important to know when to seek forgiveness from others as well.When facing setbacks, you will only get worse if you do not forgive. The anger and resentment will eat away at you and cloud your very existence. But the act of forgiveness can help you let go and move on.

One important thing to take note of is,the ability to focus on developing your spiritual life, as it will help you deal with all kinds of adversities. Key to facing hardships is faith and a sense that you really are not in control. Hold onto hope. Even if you have only a glimmer of hope, it can get you through some very tough times. Is there any person on this earth who has not faced adversity? Life can be good, but adversities are also part of life. How does one face them with equanimity? It is difficult if the extent of adversity is very high. But one has to live through difficulties and setbacks and come back in life to succeed again. A sudden accident can make one lose limbs. A man who makes his living with his hands, will surely feel very bad and devastated if he loses his working hand. How about the effect of the announcement by the doctor that your child has cancer? Can parents take this news calmly? They will most probably faint when they hear it first. Some adversities are such that they shatter lives forever. But strong will and faith can help one face and conquer many of life`s challenges.The break up of a marriage that one cherished and adored so much,the loss of children because of relational break-ups and not know wether one will ever see the children again. I dont know who has not heard of Helen Keller? Her blindness and deafness could not shatter her indomitable spirit. There are many instances of such people.

I read the testimony of Ben Tankard and was left wondering at the tenacity and resilence that is endowed in us human beings,which rises up from within during such times of pain and heartache. Ben lost the opportunity of playing basketball in the NBA,as a result of a knee injury,his wife walked out of his life,and many find ourselves in Ben Tankard`s situation.In 1984, while playing with a minor league basketball team in Canada, Ben was invited to a basketball camp where, he was told, NBA scouts would be present.“The scouts did see me play and were interested in me,” Ben said. “But I blew out my knee in the first workout and just like that it was over. There went my chance of being in the NBA.»Where Ben Tankard is today is a good place,but taught and schooled by pain.Acknowledged by many as “the Quincy Jones of gospel,” Ben is one of Christian music’s best-selling instrumentalists. Twentyone gold and platinum albums line the walls of his 23-room mansion—the result of songs he wrote and produced and his association with other artists in the industry. He has also received more than 50 Grammy, Dove and Stellar awards and nominations over the past 20 years, yet these tell only part of the story of how God has brought him through rough and tragic times.The vacation home in Florida; a fleet of vehicles that includes a limousine, a Mercedes and two motorcycles; two private airplanes which Ben pilots himself; and an unshakable marriage that is founded on God’s Word are a testimony, Ben says, to what God will do when you truly trust Him.“It’s not because of anything I’ve done—it’s all about God’smercy.Ben says unashamedly. “It humbles me because I know where I came from and I know who is responsible for me being where I am today.Desperate people do desperate things. At 21, Ben Tankard had become desperate.And he made up his mind not to sink but swim to the other side of the sea.”My word to you is hold on even when the future looks so bleak and gloomy. Looking back, Ben Tankard has learned a lot about sacrificial living.“The truth is, I never really lost out on anything,” he says. “It took me going through a lot of hard times in order to pass the test. I needed to wake up and realize God loves me, and that He anointed me for a purpose. Nothing was taken away from me, it was just delayed.”<[BEN TANKARD`S FROM TESTS TO TESTIMONY].

Let us look at the life as a moving vehicle. As we move, we pass many scenes. Some good and some dirty. But we sit though the journey peacefully and reach our destination. We mostly remain unmoved because — we are not directly pained by the scenes outside and our focus is more on reaching the destination. In any SETBACK, at least the second part can be applied. Come what may, our object should be to create a good life and live as an example for others. That should be our destination and that should be our motivation. Does everyone experience SETBACKS AND DIFFICULTIES in life? The Bible says we do. It even tells us to expect it. Look at some of the synonyms for 'expect': wait for, anticipate, look forward to, look ahead to, imagine, suppose, guess. So do we really do all of that with difficult experiences? If we're honest, we'll answer a resounding, NO! (and don't forget the exclamation mark!) When's the last time you looked forward to the next adversity in your life? In this fragile life many or should I say, most, are experiencing some sort of difficulties on a regular basis. I have a lawyer friend who always qoutes this statement in most of his conversations:"I earned my degree at the School of Hard Knox."? As a parody of higher education with respect to life, many have achieved inner wisdom and greatness by overcoming the perils of life through sheer willpower and determination to succeed.

Whether we believe it or not, we grow stronger through difficulties. Instead of beating ourselves up over perceived difficulties, we need to find resolve and learn to use "setbacks" to our own advantage. More often than not, we encounter hurdles to reflect on what it is we are doing in life, where we're going, and what we need to be doing. Sometimes, we keep running into the same encounters because we have not yet comprehended the message we were supposed to learn the first time. That's not necessarily negative; though we may perceive it to be. It is important to note, too, that while we may face difficulties on many levels and at different stages in our lives, we should never be partner to creating our own drama. We must rise above the setbacks that comes into our lives, and take a responsible view of what that event or person(s) is trying to convey to us.When we choose to learn from difficult situations, we are one step closer to becoming enlightened and one rung higher on the ladder of the strong character you'd like to portray and be.

Your earned qualification at the School of Hard Knox should be proudly displayed. The education and experience you receive in life is all part of the grand adventure of becoming part of the positive flow of Universal energy. You are what you create, and adversity is simply part of the equation to fulfilling personal and spiritual growth on all levels.look into the future with hope even when all hope seens to have left you,stay on and fight.BE REMINDED SETBACKS ARE PART OF LIFE,WE ALL, WILL HAVE <