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Why you fall for her/him? Октябрь 25, 2010

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in family relationship, man&woman relationship, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ.
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Maybe that magical “thing” we feel for someone really boils down to … literally, chemistry.
The psychology of falling in love often revolves around physical chemistry, along with similarities such as socioeconomic backgrounds, levels of intelligence and good looks, and spiritual beliefs.

Yet, whom one falls for has a more primitive, inborn biology, says author Helen Fisher. That science explains one’s basic temperament and personality, the biochemistry behind it, and why a person falls for one kind of person over another.
The types are the adventurous Explorer, the reliable Builder, the ambitious Director, and the kind Negotiator.

“Why are we almost magically drawn to some people and not others?” says Fisher. She is a research professor of biological anthropology at Rutgers University, and author of books including “Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love,” and “Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray.”

While physical and sexual attraction also may have a biochemical base, Fisher focuses on the psychological side.

“You can feel very sexually drawn to somebody, but then they open their mouth and they have the wrong accent,” she says. “The brain sorts out whom you will feel romantically attracted to.

“I’m not talking about how you feel when you are in love,” Fisher says. She calls herself mostly an Explorer, with a secondary Negotiator. “I’m talking about what the brain circuitry is for romantic love.”

Though a person’s background can influence his or her relationship choices, there’s more to the story, Fisher says.

“Your childhood experiences play a role; there’s no doubt about that,” she says. “What I’m adding to the puzzle is the science half of the puzzle.”
“Why Him? Why Her?” — which had its first edition published in hardcover a year ago — features Fisher’s personality test, which also is available on http://www.chemistry.com, a dating site for which she is chief scientific advisor. After taking the test, readers can figure out their dominant personality, and learn what types are the best matches for them.

The theory about matches isn’t absolute, Fisher says; an Explorer and Builder aren’t a likely pairing, but can have a successful
relationship with extra work.

“There’s really no bad match, but there are some matches that are more natural than the others,” she says.

The book features an in-depth chapter on each personality type, so that readers can know what makes both them and potential partners tick. The same principle applies to other relationships, like with friends and family members, Fisher says.

“What I’m trying to do is show people more about themselves and more about their partner — More about whom they might make a really good match with, how to pick that person, and how to sustain a relationship with that person,” she says.

“This is a way of not only understanding your sweetheart, but understanding anybody,” Fisher says.
What’s Your Type?
Author Helen Fisher identifies four basic personality types in her book “Why Him? Why Her? How to Find and Keep Lasting Love.”
•The Explorer has a zest for life and adventure. Explorers are intensely curious, creative, energetic and spontaneous. They are risk-takers and can become bored easily. Explorers are optimistic, independent, and adaptable. This personality type is dopamine-based. •The Builder is loyal, conscientious and conventional. Builders value duty, respectability and proper moral conduct, and they tend to follow social norms and customs. They like to make plans and keep schedules. Builders are orderly and detail-oriented, and tend to be excellent managers. This personality type is serotonin-based.
•The Director is tough-minded, strong, direct and decisive. Directors tend to be analytical, skeptical and exacting. They are ambitious, achievement-oriented, pragmatic, daring, competitive and
self-confident. This personality type is testosterone-based, in both sexes.
•The Negotiator is imaginative, sensitive and theoretical. Negotiators also are unassuming, agreeable, intuitive and compassionate. They are emotionally expressive, and good with handling people. This
personality type is estrogen-based, in both sexes.
Explorers tend to fall for other Explorers, and Builders tend to fall for other Builders. Yet Directors and Negotiators tend to fall for each other

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Taking it to heights Октябрь 25, 2010

Posted by Herbert Mtowo in Family, family relationship, man&woman relationship, marriage, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ.
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Men really need to focus of pleasuring women otherwise it may later even lead to the divorce due to unsatisfactory sex life. Women are the most sensitive human beings. For women sex is not a mere physical activity, but they like to enjoy its sensitivity and emotional side along with the sexual pleasure. Men like to give pleasure to women but due to the inadequate knowledge about sex, he fails to do so and it results into the uninterested attitude of women towards sex. In the survey it was noted that more than 50% of the women are unsatisfied with their sex life and this really put a big question on the men’s functionality. Men on other hand are very much physical during the sex and this keeps women devoid of the pleasure that they want from men. So, you need to learn some techniques to pleasure women

1.Setting the mood Men are always ready for sex, but women needs to come into the mood before they go for the sexual ecstasy.
2.Foreplay is the most important women pleasure technique. It is only through the foreplay that you can get your ladylove ready for the sexual ecstasy. Women require a lot of foreplay to turn on
3.Go slow Women are very slow to come in mood as compared to men. Men require only 2 minutes to reach the orgasm, whereas women require at least 15 minutes to reach the orgasm.
4.Explore all body parts Remember that women require a whole body stimulation to get involved in the sex completely. Paying attention only towards the reproductive organ, turn off the women because they love that their partner pays attention towards there each and every part.
5.Clitoral stimulation. Women feel the intense sexual pleasure with the clitoral stimulation. Like the penis is men, clitoris is the most sensitive part of the women reproductive system.
6.Breast stimulation Breasts are the sensitive body parts and should be given a due attention if you want to give pleasure to your ladylove. Be soft on breasts, use your fingers to touch her nipples softly and then keep them revolving around them. This will really make her feel the immense pleasure of sex and she will get into the mood. You will be surprised to see her even reaching the orgasm only with breast stimulation.

Having a daily summit in your relationship Январь 27, 2010

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Today's Devotional.
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By Herbert Mtowo

How To Have a Daily Peace Summit(In Relationships)

 In the political world it is common for leaders to come together for a special meeting known as a peace summit. The purpose is to try and stop all the fighting and learn to live together in peace and harmony. Whenever you have a group of people living together in the same house, the time will come sooner or later when you need to make peace. You cannot continue to live in a situation of conflict. This is something that you can develop also to use for the whole family. But let’s learn to use it firstly just for those in relationships married or dating and in courtship.

How to dealing with anger

Jesus gave clear instructions concerning anger, in the following verse: Ephesians 4:26 Be angry, but do not sin: do not let the sun set on your anger: In my writings and study on hurts, anger and bitterness, I have seen that there are two main kinds of anger mentioned in the New Testament. These are explosive anger and implosive anger. The kind of anger mentioned in this verse is the kind that is not explosive. You will all agree with me, that relationships bring out all the skeletons in the cupboard out. In relationships we all get angry at one time or the other. Anger is always with us as long as we relate to people. So what the Scripture is saying here is that you should learn to hold back your anger. But then you should learn to also let it go. This is so important, we all get angry one way or the other, but we should also be able to master our anger than having it master our emotions. Most Gender based violence cases areas a result of anger out of control, that’s why you find the world over people are going through anger management programmes. That is the way to go, people get treated from so many addictions, others go through sex addictions, and the whole purpose is to bring anger and these addictions under control. The first step is to admit that I have anger which is out of control, most people I talk to refuse that they have anger that needs to be dealt with. Now a person who explodes their anger usually let’s it go pretty easy, but they can often cause the other partner to respond with the other anger. So one has ‘let it off their chest’ while the other continues to brood and boil with anger.

Temperaments in marriage

 This kind of situation will always exist, because usually the temperaments in marriage will be such that one partner is more expressive than the other. So usually one of you will tend to be explosive, and the other will boil with anger. The key is to let all anger out before the day is over. That means no anger must exist by the time you go to bed that night. How do you do this? With correct communication! But how do you carry this out? One is ready to explode and tell the other what they think. The other is likely to avoid and keep it inside .Anger, bitterness and There is only one way to approach it, and that is what Jesus told us to do in the following passage: Matthew 7:3 And why do you look at the splinter that is in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the beam that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, Let me pull the splinter out of your eye; and, look, a beam [is] in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first remove the beam out of your own eye; and then you will see clearly to remove the splinter out of your brother’s eye. Usually when a husband and wife have a conflict, each blames the other for the problem. But as is indicated in dealing with anger, it is necessary for you both to turn your attention to the problem instead of accusing each other.

Conference/s daily:

 So you must come together at least once each day, to share the things that are bothering you, or have made you angry. Sometimes it might be anger against your partner. Sometimes it might be anger against someone else. The key here is to help each other. So you start off with the following words: “I have a problem.” In this way you ‘look at your own beam’ first. And since your partner is not under the same burden of care as you, he or she can help you to break free. If you are angry with each other, or worried about the finances, or there is something else that is bothering you. You MUST deal with this before you go to sleep at night. And especially important, you must deal with it BEFORE YOU CONSIDER MAKING LOVE. As you learn to communicate better with each other, you can diffuse these things before they cause barriers to come between you. If you fail to do this, then you may be guilty of one or more of the three factors we mentioned in my article- stealing, lying and bad language. Learn to have a peace summit each day, and put to rest all your cares and concerns. You will sleep better and wake up feeling good the next day. And, more important, you will find that your love experience will blossom and the love making will become more wonderful than ever before

Lovemaking,Sexuality and Foreplay Август 9, 2009

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Актуальная проблема -problem of today, Библейские уроки-Bible lessons, Трибуна братства - The brotherhood tribune, Цитаты Великих - Great Quotes, eMagazines, PSYCHOLOGIE-ПСИХОЛОГИЯ, Today's Devotional.
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Lovemaking, sexuality and foreplay
Herbert Mtowo

I always say to my fellow men that, “The body of a woman is like a musical instrument, it produces sound when picked up to be played.”The quality of the music is not determined by the instrument, but by the player himself. Most men are annoyed by the sound produced by the music not knowing that they determine the music coming out not the instrument. The instrument is just flowing with the way it is played. I have never played a guitar in my life, but if you ask me to play it, it will produce music and sound. But if you get a professional guitar player, you will hear that the sound and quality of music is different. May I put this forward to all men and women, Sex is an art which we are not born knowing. But we have to improve and work on it, to be skilful players so that the quality of music and sound is of great quality and standards.
What type of music are you producing through the instrument, body of the woman in your life, don’t jump to bed with every woman looking for better quality of music, you can make and produce the most beautiful music through that instrument(body),when you master the art of playing and improving your skill, that can be sweet to your ears and your partners Life is very stressful. There are so many things to do, and so little time in which to do them. So when it comes to love making, usually your time is limited. After a full day’s work and perhaps a full evening of responsibilities at home, you are weary.

When you go to bed, your desire for sex is there, but it is getting late. You must get some sleep or you will not be able to wake up in the morning. So what do you do? You rush through your love making and go to sleep. Men are the guiltiest of this. If you are a workaholic then you tend to rush through anything that is not work. So you scoff down your food at meal times and rush back to work. And you rush through your time of love making in the same way. Now as a man you might be able to cope with this. And you probably still enjoy the sex. It does not usually take a man long to reach orgasm. The sight of his naked wife gets his hormones raging, and if he is young and full of energy a few quick strokes will get him there. He falls back satisfied and drifts off to sleep, while his wife lies unfulfilled and frustrated. He did not bother to take the time to consider her feelings or to satisfy her desires. He thinks that he is a good husband, and he probably is a good provider. But he is a fool. He has not only denied his wife the opportunity to enjoy love making, but he has settled for less than he could have had. There seems to be a common idea that most men are crazy about sex and most women are not. This is largely because many women have never been given the chance to enjoy the sexual experience. The truth of the matter is that women are equipped to have a far greater sexual experience than men. A man, once he has reached a climax, cannot continue to enjoy the experience. He would have to wait and start all over again, if he is really energetic. But a woman can have several orgasms one after the other and continue to enjoy the experience even after reaching a climax.

So what is the best way to get the most out of your time of love making? Surely it is for the man to hold back until his wife has reached the same place of arousal as him. And then if he is really considerate, he will encourage her to reach orgasm first, if she desires to do so. For most men this is a difficult thing. When you begin to ‘climb the mountain’ you come to a point where it is all downhill. Once it starts you cannot stop it, and when it is over you cannot start it again. How do you overcome this problem? By the simple use of foreplay. This means bringing your wife to arousal before you complete the sexual act. How is this carried out? Many books have been written on this, and they all major on the physical side You get them in your email box daily. Those advertisements that promise you the best sexual experience you have ever had. For the man an enlargement of his genitals. For the woman an increased sensation to heighten pleasure.

Are there that many impotent and frigid people out there to justify all this of this hype that is made about the sexual experience? Or is this just another way to make people spend their hard earned money? There certainly are those who are unable to enjoy a normal sexual experience because of a physical malfunction, and where such a problem exists, and a doctor prescribes medication to correct this problem, such medication might be advisable. But for the vast majority of us, the truth of the matter is that we are not enjoying the sexual experience the way we should, and we are seeking some way of heightening it.
I teach on some powerful concepts on how to approach your love making to ensure that you obtain the most from the experience. You will find that if you develop your marriage relationship God’s way, then your love making experience will be wonderful, and the idea of taking some pill or cream to make it better will seem ridiculous. Most men need to know how to eat healthy than spend time on aphrodisiac boosters, good food, can improve your sexual performance as a men. Most men need to cut on their fat, sugar, oil, salt and other junk food intake. There is nothing that is a scary as being with a woman who is not getting enough or satisfied because the men is not doing a good job in bed.
You will find that sex is actually a spiritual experience, and the Holy Spirit will gladly become part of this, as you invite Him into your relationship. Sad to say there a millions of women and men who have not had or experienced quality sexual experience, in their lifetime. One of the major cause for divorce rates is infidelity. Why? I can simply put it that we have kept sex a taboo, topic to our detrimental.
Give me feedback on this topic and many others that we are sending to you, or please email or phone us for your feedback and comments or if you want seminars on these and other issues to be presented to a small group or big group.

 At your service,
Herbert Mtowo and the team behind Jordan Touch Communications.

jtouchcommunications@gmail.com
+264608007649

Специально для женщин от Spiritledwoman.com Июнь 8, 2009

Posted by Alyosha Kolodiy in Трибуна братства - The brotherhood tribune, Цитаты Великих - Great Quotes, eMagazines, Today's Devotional.
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timacy With God

 
They Can Tell You’ve Been With Jesus
| By Mike Bickle

Years ago while speaking to a group of new Christians, I noticed a beautiful, young, blonde girl across the room. I flipped out! I had never felt such intense emotions as those that filled me when I gazed across the room at Diane, the girl who was to become my wife. On our first date I was amazed that she seemed to share my feelings, and we became engaged after just one date.

My deep love for Diane and my desire to be with her helped me understand the love Christ feels for His bride. The prayer He prayed just before His death, recorded in John 17, is especially revealing. He said, «Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am» (v. 24, NKJV). Here was my Lord, only hours before His agonizing death on Calvary, crying out to the Father with intense cravings for His bride—for me!

He was consumed with love for His bride and longed to have her with Him for eternity.

Toward the end of the prayer the focus changes from …. {Read more}

 

 

 
Say It, Sister! 
From Fear to Faith | By Lisa Bevere

Lisa Bevere lost an eye to cancer when she was five years old. The ordeal left her insecure, intimidated, and afraid to fulfill her purpose. But she released her fears to God and today He is using her to minister to women across the country. To watch Lisa’s inspiring testimony, click here.

 

 

 
Prayers Men Pray
Help! My Husband Is an Intercessor! | By Eddie Smith

«Could you come down out of the heavenlies long enough to give me a hand with this dirty laundry?»

Have you ever uttered those words in your home? Some wives have trouble pulling their husbands away from the TV set. Others struggle to keep them from bringing work home from the office. But a growing number of women these days are asking: «How do I deal with my husband, the intercessor?»

First, let me congratulate you women who are married to intercessors. Of all the ministries to which a man could …. {Read more}

Knowing God
God’s Passionate Love
| By Sam Storms

What does God think about when He thinks about you? When God meditates on you in His heart, what does He feel? When God focuses His eyes on your soul, what does He see? When God opens His mouth to speak of you, what does He say?

Perhaps many of you would answer those questions like this: He thinks badly of me; He feels repelled by me. He sees all my ugliness, and He says, Yuk!

Nothing could be further from the truth! Notwithstanding what …. {Read more}

 

 

 
The Lowe-Down
 Are You Addicted to S_ _? | By Valerie G. Lowe

Several years ago my friend mustered up the nerve to tell me about her struggle with lust. Even though she wasn’t dating anyone, she was afraid her fixation would eventually seduce her into having premarital sex.

Thinking about her problem made me want to blog about premarital sex, a topic I believe the church often shuns. But why? Christian singles have sex or want to have sex too. And though the Bible prohibits such behavior, that hasn’t stopped believers from going too far.

Sadly, some Christian singles behave as if there are no consequences to sex outside of marriage—but there are. Dr. Freda McKissic Bush, a Christian, a board-certified OB-GYN and co-author of Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children, says premarital sex and extramarital affairs can unleash a host of …. {Read more}

 

 

 
Timeless Treasures
Grieve Not the Holy Spirit
| By Phoebe Palmer

Daily my heart is cleaving more closely to Christ and getting more detached from earthly objects. The weaning process is going on. I find the closer I get to the heart of Infinite Love—the nearer to the Son of Righteousness—the more sensitively do I feel, to my heart’s deepest core, everything that is contrary in spirit, word or action to the law of love.

If we do, indeed, get nearer to the Son of Righteousness, we cannot help but see with greater vividness …. {Read more}

Fueling the Fire
Finding Security in the Father
| By Brenda J. Davis

We’ve likely had many opportunities to learn that seeking acceptance from anyone other than God is sinful, not to mention futile. But the hurts we experience in life can sometimes leave us feeling such rejection that we become desperate for people’s approval. This sets us up for more heartache since no one can consistently give us the kind of approbation we need.

No human being can accurately assess our worth. Only our Creator …. {Read more}

 

 

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