THE SIDES TO LIFE.

People are divided into two groups — the ones that live life aimlessly, surviving from one day to the next, and those who look for the formula and wish to direct their efforts towards a chosen destination, rather than get up in the morning and find themselves in a place they do not like.

The first group adopts an «aimless (go with the flow) life style» and the second group a «planned (or purposeful) life style». Many people think that going with the flow and taking things as they come is everyone lives, until they suffer pain that is too hard to bear. Others think that everybody plans their life, until they must acknowledge things beyond their control and with their wisdom comes calmness and acceptance.

There is a lot of freedom and joy in aimless living. It involves fewer worries and more acceptance. You get your paycheck, spend it as you like and who cares about tomorrow. After all, «Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that’s why we call it the present».

Those who prefer to plan might look over the fence and frown, but is there really one side that is better than the other? I think not.

For the people who flow, planned living is too rigid and too frustrating, full of people who try to predict the future and live an illusion of a connection between what they do today and what will happen tomorrow. But for planners, certainty is the currency of life and they believe they can avoid pain most of the time and that is better than flowing and getting hit hard.

Everywhere, we head personal development gurus telling us to set goals and focus on desires. They say that desires are the engine of moving forward. They tell us, «Always plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark», but is there really one side that is better than the other? I think not.

People on both sides of the fence live life and do the only things they think they know how to do — justify their choices! They say, «My side is the right side and the best side». I believe a lot of heartache, wars, conflicts, relationship breakdowns and pain exist in the world because people are too focused on justifying their own lifestyle and pushing away other choices. We spend lots of energy shouting to the other side, «My choices are better than yours». Even religious wars are based on «God loves me more. My beliefs are better than yours». Are they really?!

I believe that living on either side of the fence is not a problem until you try to convince those on the other side that your side is better. Aimless living is cool, as long as you consider it best for YOU! Planned living is great, as long as you consider it best for YOU!

Because formulas for living well are not transferable. They are personal. You do not need statistics to feel better with your aimless or planned choice and it does not matter if there are more people on your side of the fence or on the other side. The only thing that matters is that wherever you are, you can be successful, healthy and happy by your own definition . If you spend most of your energy on convincing others you are «right», it defeats the purpose of getting to your destination quickly and easily.

In different areas of life, we probably sit on different sides of different fences and, whether we are on one side or the other, we choose the side we think will give us what we are looking for.

My COLLEAGUES ASK ME CONSTANTLY. Now, I share my life philosophy freely with anyone who would like to hear. I even share it with people I have never met, through the many posts I write. but I have to make it clear — it is mine and mine alone and it is not meant to be copied, because it just will not work for you as it does for me. My experience is meant to be used as a tool to help you find your own life formula, which will be the best for you, regardless of the side of the fence you choose.All the best folks take your choice and go for your dreams.

Herbert Mtowo